news.

i’d described the space i’m in this morning as kinda… “blah.” sort of existing, i’ve got a list of a couple things that i’ll probably get done at some point today, but i can’t say i feel particularly like “attacking” this day. urgency? not a thing today…. much more tortoise than hare.

i’ve been here before. many times. as someone who’s battled anxiety and depression what feels like my entire life and continues to do so (*though the battle does get easier, Thank. The. Lord.*), it’s just not rare for me to feel this way. in this space, sometimes i start wondering what it’s all for. i feel myself feeling a bit…. pointless or hopeless…. not to be a complete Debbie Downer or anything! there is a point to this.

honestly, if not for the imperfect days, how in the hell would i have such a GIGANTIC appreciation for the days that totally kick ass? i’m pushing myself to realize that the highs aren’t nearly as cool if you’re walking around like every day is the best day on Earth. you can’t be at 150% all the damn time. you just can’t. or at least i can’t…. so why would i pretend like i am or that i can??

am i going to sit around today and get nothing done? well, that’s just not me, regardless of how sloth-like i feel. i’ll get some stuff done. that’s for sure. but i’m not going to lie to you and say i feel Super Motivated to do ALL THE THINGS OMG!!! i’m really comfy in this blanket right now, and the last thing i feel like doing is looking presentable. honestly, could not care less. but if i just let myself feel this way, be this way, sit right here without completely SHAMING myself for it, i guarantee it’ll make this blah mood a helluva lot easier on myself.

so….. cheers to sometimes just not feeling like doing a whole lot of things. and letting that be okay. because it’s not permanent. nothing really is. and i’ll still be “killin’ it” even if i don’t accomplish 5,000 things today. i have a LOT of energy. but i do NOT have it in me to do 5,000 things every. single. day. not if i want to do them well, anyway! and trust me when i say – nothing’s worth doing if you’re not 100% in it and doing it well.

really hoping maybe a sentence or two of this hits home for someone – if not, then it’s a really good reminder for myself that a slow day now and then is just fine. embrace the space you’re in, be okay with the pace you’re moving, because a small step is still a step. if you’re moving the needle, then small moves still count.

alright, i want to give a little behind the scenes experience for my music. i think as an artist, my music is hopefully always going to be something that’s really personal to me and close to my heart, and i want to share that with you! i want to share my life’s journey and really be open about the kinds of things i’ve encountered and powered through… okay, maybe not powered through…. there have been some real moments of break down for me, i’ll be honest. and i think that music is a way for me to express that and get it out into the world.

so, for Jump, it was written right around the time when i started thinking seriously about pursuing music. i was about six months into my journey with Alan Turner and really starting to feel my passion for music rise up again from the depths of me…. really hearing God telling me to run towards this thing, wherever the journey may be leading me.

i was also struggling a lot with depression… i’ve had a life-long battle with depression and anxiety and i was finding it really hard to believe in myself and to believe the things the Universe was telling me. it’s so easy to let fear regardless, but add in a previously existing history of mental struggle, and it’s just that much harder.

so i thought to myself…. what happens when i get scared. what happens when i want to run and hide and curl up in my bed and cry. well…. what if i didn’t run and hide, and what if i jumped anyway? what if i trusted God and trusted my gut and just went for it? whatever “it” is… “it” could be anything. the dreams that we have inside of us – what if we just freaking go for them?! and i wrote this song.

this song is for anyone who has ever thought “what if,” and for anyone that sometimes thinks that playing it safe is the better option. i’m here to tell you that the safe side of the street is just that… it’s safe and it’ll keep you in your bubble and comfort zone. and i’m no expert at dream chasing and i still doubt myself on the regular, but i figure if i sing my own song to myself enough times, maybe i’ll take the leap. i wanna know what’s waiting for me in the unknown, just on the other side of the Jump.

hope you enjoy this song!!! please let me know what you think, and if you’re feeling really pumped, i’d love it if you shared this video with your friends!!