grace + legalism

ok, raise your hand if you’ve ever had a Tate’s cookie…? they’re this semi-recent discovery of mine, and what i’ve REALLY discovered in my adventures with Tate’s cookies is that it’s nearly impossible for me to eat just one or two. once a pack is open, it’s as good as gone.

you’re catching me right now at bed time, post tooth brushing, analyzing tonight’s snack endeavor, asking myself why i have such little self control when it comes to this particular brand and kind of cookie. but then i took it one step further and began to judge myself because i truly do try to be a person that watches what i consume, attempting to make good, informed choices. low tox, natural living, baby!! there’s just something about these dang cookies that make me throw all caution to the wind, rules in the dumpster, and devour… i mean… smash… dunked in milk, they’re an absolute delicacy.

then… as i thought further into this… i started thinking about how little grace i give myself and how downright legalistic i can be. it’s very all or nothing in this brain of mine. it’s either good or bad, but nothing in between, and if i’m being honest, i’m pretty good at picking myself apart for all the “bad” – i’m using quotations because i’m also pretty harsh when it comes to classifying and separating good from bad.

i’m “bad” for eating all seven of those cookies – but they tasted so good!! but i have no self control and how dare i ever even talk about health, wellness, or anything remotely related with habits like this.

does anyone else crack down on themselves entire too harshly, or is it just me? something moved me to write this tonight while i was brushing my teeth, so i just kind of went with it, assuming the nudge was because there was quite possibly someone that needed to hear that they weren’t alone in this internal legalistic battle.

we are together in these self critical moments, but i want us to lay off ourselves a little. i want us to not be so dang serious and legalistic about all this stuff – just eat the dang cookies and be ok with it, alright? sheesh. i mean, sure, we don’t wanna go housing packs of cookies every night, but there’s also something to be said for enjoying this life and coloring outside the lines a bit every once in a while. there’s goodness in those moments, too. a LOT of goodness. and i would hate for us to miss things that are readily right in front of us because we were too worried about perfectly adhering to some “rules” – most likely rules that we made up for ourselves!!

i didn’t do a “word of the year” this year – i’m just on a mission and i’m headed there full steam ahead. but. if i did, there would’ve likely been a whole list of words because i’m generally so indecisive. somewhere near the top of that list would have been “grace.” you’d be hard pressed to find someone that was a harsher critic on themselves than me, but dang it, i am determined to give myself some grace. i have got to loosen the necktie a bit. let the hair down. i know it might seem like i’m totally carefree and whatever – i’m here to confess to you that i truly need to give myself some more grace. grace when i’m three minutes late, grace when i eat something a bit “off brand,” grace when i don’t feel like getting ready in the morning, grace when the outfit of the day is sweats, grace when one of the kids doesn’t like the dinner i made, grace when i’m having a hard time clearly seeing the vision and i’m confused, ready to quit… just some more grace in basically every situation.

i’m gonna go ahead and assume you could use some more self-gifted grace, too. because guess what – i’m a human and so are you. and we’re gonna make mistakes. we’re here on this big blue and green rock, spinning around, semi-blindly wandering through life just like everyone else – the least we can do is make it a little easier on ourselves if at all possible.

i challenge you to letting yourself off the hook a little this week – what’s that gonna look like? and better yet, how are you gonna feel next Friday when you’ve gone a little easier on yourself for Seven. Days. Straight?!??

♥, SF