February 2024 – Sarah Faith

engaged!

holy. crap. what a week!! something i have prayed for, hoped for, longed for happened and i am just… so grateful and ecstatic about it all.

taking it back back back… when you get divorced… rather… when i got divorced… i was stuck in this time space continuum of “well. what a waste that was. wonder if it’ll ever happen again…?” because we’ve got this weird relationship with “opportunity.” we’ve gotta catch it while it’s here because sometimes it just doesn’t come around twice.

i think that’s a load of crap.

when the opportunity came around this time, it was easy, effortless, light, and it was better. so i wanna just say… feel free to dump all your thoughts about the scarcity of opportunities straight in the toilet where they belong. and use the big flush. the one for #2.

he planned the cutest, most perfect engagement maybe ever. if you haven’t seen the video, go check it out on my social media pages. we were literally making homemade pizza that night. and then i was told we were going on a coffee date because our friend Collin had a gig, and i love Collin’s music, Collin as a human, and i love coffee dates with my babe.

i didn’t know that Collin’s gig was staged. i didn’t know that everyone in the shop knew what was about to happen. i had no clue that in the pocket of Matthew’s jacket was the most beautiful engagement ring i would ever see in my whole life. i just had no idea. which is probably why i showed up in a Canadian Tuxedo…

maybe one of the most perfect parts of the night, which was not planned whatsoever, was the undeniable God wink… the baristas write bible verses on the cardboard cup surround thingys at the beginning of the week. and they’re all different and randomly distributed. on this night, mine said , “Matthew 11:28” which reads, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” the week had been heavy with expectations on myself, music dreams, business dreams, etc… and in this moment, i was nearly on my face with gratitude for a Lord that loves us in this gentle, kind way.

and about 23 minutes later, i was grateful in a whole new way for the man that asked me to spend forever with him… how fitting that the book of Matthew would be so present in my hemisphere these last few weeks, and even on the night that he would propose.

there’s a lot of little winks like that in life if you’re not too in a hurry to notice them. have you had one lately?

♥, SF

//anxiety//

it’s been a heavy week for me mentally, and if i’m alone in that, that’s a good thing – i don’t wish weeks like this on anyone. i’m not tired necessarily from the week. i’m tired because i’ve been constantly battling with my mind trying to keep it as positive as possible. unfortunately, i’ve been falling short majority of the days…

what on Earth do i possibly have to worry about?! you may ask… and i’ll give you my whole whimpy list right here – maybe you can see yourself in some of this: am i doing enough?, am i good enough?, am i enough, period?, is this working?, fear and worry about success or failure, anxiety over what people think, worried i missed the boat on something, am i parenting well enough?, am i “relationship”ing well enough?, i didn’t work out today, what a failure, why am i eating so terribly?, why isn’t this happening faster?, mad that my efforts aren’t turning to fruit, worried that they won’t… should i continue? i won’t… you get the picture.

i took it to the Word, though. and without getting too preachy on you, i’ll give you some of my practical takeaways.

did you know that sometimes people obtain their success in not-so-innocent ways? have you ever stopped to consider that when you’re scrolling around in comparison mode in the black hole of the internet? people will go out of their way, oftentimes against their own inner dialogue, morals, or values to obtain success. and they’ll go brag about it like it’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to them. no one is telling you exactly how they got to where they are. they are simply showing off that they got there.

when i stop to think about that, it kicks me in the face and brings me right back down to Earth. or whatever planet i’m from.

did you also know that fast success isn’t sustainable? it’s not lasting success. fast relationships, fast money, fast anything – not the same as steady and sustainable. it’s just not the thing that’s built on a firm foundation and gonna stand the test of time. fast success is just that – fast. success. not lasting success. not fulfilling success. not better, not more, not happier…. fast. and sometimes the bigger they are, the harder they fall. that’s my first takeaway.

my second takeaway – it’s not the prudent person that’s got something to prove. it’s not the grounded, sound, confident person that’s out here trying to show off or show out. that’s the insecure, not confident person. and you can be whoever you wanna be in this life, but if i’ve got my choice, i want to be grounded. i want to be well-founded. i want to build my house on rock, not sand. it’s not usually the modest person that gets noticed first, but i’ll be danged if they’re not well-respected in their own time.

i’m gonna go ahead and print these words for myself and make wallpaper out of them… i know i’m going to forget tomorrow and need a front and center reminder… feel free to do the same.

♥, SF

grace + legalism

ok, raise your hand if you’ve ever had a Tate’s cookie…? they’re this semi-recent discovery of mine, and what i’ve REALLY discovered in my adventures with Tate’s cookies is that it’s nearly impossible for me to eat just one or two. once a pack is open, it’s as good as gone.

you’re catching me right now at bed time, post tooth brushing, analyzing tonight’s snack endeavor, asking myself why i have such little self control when it comes to this particular brand and kind of cookie. but then i took it one step further and began to judge myself because i truly do try to be a person that watches what i consume, attempting to make good, informed choices. low tox, natural living, baby!! there’s just something about these dang cookies that make me throw all caution to the wind, rules in the dumpster, and devour… i mean… smash… dunked in milk, they’re an absolute delicacy.

then… as i thought further into this… i started thinking about how little grace i give myself and how downright legalistic i can be. it’s very all or nothing in this brain of mine. it’s either good or bad, but nothing in between, and if i’m being honest, i’m pretty good at picking myself apart for all the “bad” – i’m using quotations because i’m also pretty harsh when it comes to classifying and separating good from bad.

i’m “bad” for eating all seven of those cookies – but they tasted so good!! but i have no self control and how dare i ever even talk about health, wellness, or anything remotely related with habits like this.

does anyone else crack down on themselves entire too harshly, or is it just me? something moved me to write this tonight while i was brushing my teeth, so i just kind of went with it, assuming the nudge was because there was quite possibly someone that needed to hear that they weren’t alone in this internal legalistic battle.

we are together in these self critical moments, but i want us to lay off ourselves a little. i want us to not be so dang serious and legalistic about all this stuff – just eat the dang cookies and be ok with it, alright? sheesh. i mean, sure, we don’t wanna go housing packs of cookies every night, but there’s also something to be said for enjoying this life and coloring outside the lines a bit every once in a while. there’s goodness in those moments, too. a LOT of goodness. and i would hate for us to miss things that are readily right in front of us because we were too worried about perfectly adhering to some “rules” – most likely rules that we made up for ourselves!!

i didn’t do a “word of the year” this year – i’m just on a mission and i’m headed there full steam ahead. but. if i did, there would’ve likely been a whole list of words because i’m generally so indecisive. somewhere near the top of that list would have been “grace.” you’d be hard pressed to find someone that was a harsher critic on themselves than me, but dang it, i am determined to give myself some grace. i have got to loosen the necktie a bit. let the hair down. i know it might seem like i’m totally carefree and whatever – i’m here to confess to you that i truly need to give myself some more grace. grace when i’m three minutes late, grace when i eat something a bit “off brand,” grace when i don’t feel like getting ready in the morning, grace when the outfit of the day is sweats, grace when one of the kids doesn’t like the dinner i made, grace when i’m having a hard time clearly seeing the vision and i’m confused, ready to quit… just some more grace in basically every situation.

i’m gonna go ahead and assume you could use some more self-gifted grace, too. because guess what – i’m a human and so are you. and we’re gonna make mistakes. we’re here on this big blue and green rock, spinning around, semi-blindly wandering through life just like everyone else – the least we can do is make it a little easier on ourselves if at all possible.

i challenge you to letting yourself off the hook a little this week – what’s that gonna look like? and better yet, how are you gonna feel next Friday when you’ve gone a little easier on yourself for Seven. Days. Straight?!??

♥, SF

Monthly Archives: February 2024

engaged!

//anxiety//

grace + legalism