Mindful self-acceptance

public humiliation

i don’t know if you saw it at all… there’s been so much to see lately, honestly. too much… not much of it very good… i honestly usually keep my head in the sand on most things… maybe that’s ignorant. but, in this case, as a musician with friends who know i’m a musician, a friend of mine asked me what i thought about this… so i checked it out.

the situation was — and you can google more specific details if you wish, but it’s not my desire to out anyone or add unnecessary drama to an already dramatic situation — a musician / songwriter sang a public national anthem on a large stage, televised in front of the nation and it did not go well. more than not go well, it caused her the next day to post on social media that she had been intoxicated and she was going to check herself into rehab.

when i heard the performance for the first time, it was before she had made such a claim, so the only thoughts i had were, “man, if she has a problem and nobody knew, that’s really sad.” and then, i saw her statement.

following that, there were some claims that it was a technological problem. it happens all the time. but here’s my continued issue with the whole situation.

i should add that i’m speaking from a fair bit of personal experience on this, as i, too, have been in the position of singing a couple of high-exposure anthems, very gratefully so. while in those situations, there has never been a shortage of people asking me if i’m ready, asking if i need anything, asking if i’m ok… there were so. many. people. checking on me, probably honestly making sure i wasn’t going to blow it. making sure my nerves weren’t getting the best of me. maybe thinking to themselves, “man, i don’t know if i could do this, so is she going to be able to?” with the occasional outward warning, “don’t forget the words!”

who was checking on her? who was asking her if she was ok? if she really wasn’t ok and it was that noticeably poor of a performance, i would think that someone would have been able to notice that she wasn’t acting like herself — there were likely signs that this wasn’t going to be the best idea.

i also grew up with an alcoholic. this is the part of my story that really lends a hand to my thoughts on the situation. i could always tell my mom was drinking within seconds. i could call it out plain as day. it took me zero effort to see that she wasn’t herself. and if someone’s issue with alcohol is so serious that they need to call themselves out the next day on social media about their immediate check-in to rehab… i would venture to say it was serious enough to be able to notice.

there’s a lot of hate on the internet these days. far too much. unfortunately, she’s being made to look pretty bad in some corners of this wild wild web. but this is not on her. none of this is on her. her team failed her. and from personal experience, getting upset with someone who struggles with addiction does nothing — you don’t realize the amount of shame they already feel. they certainly don’t need your help.

i hate that this happened. i hate that it keeps happening. i hate that it seems so hard to find a team of people that you can actually trust, that actually have your best interest at heart. the fact of the matter is she hired these people… when a musician or artist hires a team, they’re doing so because they can’t manage their career alone. the scope of responsibilities and tasks that go into a music career are far too heavy for one person to carry. so they hire help. trusted help in a sea full of “helpers” that oftentimes don’t care about anyone but themselves. but i’m sure she thought she had made the right choices. and then this happened.

i’ve let my assessment of the situation reset mostly in the possibility of an addict performing with high stakes that wasn’t protected by her team. then there’s the possibility that her technology failed her.

but my opinion remains the same.

if the technology fails, you don’t go burn your house down by telling people that you’re going to rehab. if the technology fails, no one lets you die on that hill. there’s no reason for someone of high profile to admit they’re going to rehab unless they’re actually going to rehab.

either way, whether a team isn’t paying enough attention to an intoxicated artist about to take the stage or is allowing her to throw herself under the bus to cover for someone’s terrible technological failure, that’s a team that’s not really looking out for the best interest of the artist… and that’s unfortunately the way of the world it seems.

we don’t care enough about each other. we don’t even check in. we’re more concerned with power, ego, self, me, gain, money, and fame to even consider love, kindness, selflessness, or peace. no one is looking at someone about to burn part of her career down and thinking maybe it’s better that we consider a Plan B. or maybe no one truly knew her well enough to be able to decipher the signs? i’m not sure about that… i just find it negligent.

and what about the kids? what about all of our kids watching us adults completely screw this up? they soak up everything like a sponge. they watch every move we make. they imitate, they regurgitate… and they deserve better. they’re watching adults on TV show up this way, and we keep allowing it to happen. it makes me so sad, because i just can’t see the train slowing down or turning around. it’s a complete self-destructive forest fire and we keep pouring more gasoline.

if we want better, we have to be better. think better. act better. speak up better. say something. love better. care better. quit being the center of our own universes. humble up. be willing to look stupid, but not in the humiliating way. be willing to say the hard thing to avoid the bigger tragedy. quit going with the flow when you see the waterfall clearly approaching. the only way the cycle stops is with love.

one of my very favorite quotes of all time is from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.:

anger, hatred, or judgment will never be able to stop things like this from happening. and being a keyboard warrior solves nothing. we’re only going to see benefit or improvement from caring more about each other, putting someone else before ourself, and being walking, talking examples of love.

peace + fire

June 12, 2024 by Sarah Faith

blog posts.

christian, christian blog, christian life, confidence, confidence building, how to live a peaceful life, mental peace strategies, Mindful self-acceptance, mindfulness practices, mindset, mindset work

i had a friend ask me this week, “can we talk more about how to keep your peace intact when people in your circle insist on throwing fire?”

Say. Less.

YES. we can. matter of fact, let’s talk about that time a few years back when three of my family members died within 18 months, i was the executor of all of their estates by THEIR choice, NOT mine, and my entire family hated me for it. that was a good time.

there is NOT ONE THING on this Earth you can call me or say about me that i haven’t been called. by my own “family.” the people that are “supposed” to have our backs no matter what…. that’s just not how it works sometimes unfortunately. i definitely know that feeling.

that experience taught me exACTly how to deal with peace in the fire. and it had nothing to do with throwing more fire in their direction. that does not even the scale. that does not level the field. for every comeback i wanted to say, i’m sure they had another insult waiting. that’s how evil works. that’s the plan – destroy, destruct, at all costs, nothing held back.

you cannot tip the scale back in balance by meeting darkness with more darkness. you have to put your own desires aside, die to your pride, and meet it with light. you cannot grow, prosper, or thrive if you’re convinced it’s your job to make it right. you are never going to make it right – they’re hellbent on seeing you in a certain light, their words are drenched in lies, and there’s no amount of proving yourself that’s ever going to really change their mind. it’s sad, but it’s true.

light cancels out dark. love cancels out hate. when their actions don’t get a reaction, eventually, they have nothing left to say. they have no actions to spin off of if you give them nothing. and that’s been one of the hardest lessons i’ve ever had to learn. but it has paid MASSIVE dividends. so i challenge you – blow their minds!! meet their evil with love. meet their insults with kindness. be slow to react and let your heart know that whatever they’re saying is meant to get under your skin. it’s not truth. it’s provoking and intended to get a rise out of you.

you will never know what’s going on inside of someone else when they choose hate, but i can almost guarantee it’s not your fault. it’s much deeper than that. those tendencies have nothing to do with you – that’s just how they show up in the world. and it’s sad, because they have access to the same light, love, and joy that you and i have, but they’re just stuck in a vicious cycle of self-righteousness and hatred.

the only thing to do is give it up. release it. don’t hold on to it – again, it’s not the truth. it’s a bunch of lies, so free yourself from them. look up and know that God knows the truth and has the final say. no perfectly curated response you create will trump that, ever. it’s not our job. it’s not your assignment to deliver the justice. you’ll drive yourself crazy trying.

where in your life can you create more peace for yourself by giving up the need to balance the scale? what have you been holding on to that’s not your job to fix?

love y’all. i hope this helped you today <3

the horse just loves to run

i listened to Cody Asbury’s new album in the car this morning and i found myself getting really down with so many of the lyrics but one of them stuck out to me more than others:

“the jockey lives for racing, the horse just loves to run”

you could probably take these words a number of ways, but here’s my interpretation – i get excited about racing just like any human, but what i really wanna be like is the horse. win or lose, i just want to love to run. i want to have my blinders on and be so excited about where i’m going that i don’t have to care about the interpretation of the result. i don’t even have to worry about winning or not because to enjoy the journey is to win. the win or loss is subjective. how can you lose when you’re enjoying where you’re at, blooming where you’re planted? where’s the loss in that?

i don’t even want to worry about the finish line. i just want to be in the moment. running, doing, being, breathing, loving, enjoying, serving, giving – whatever it is that i need to do to run the race right now, that’s what i want to focus on. i’m not worried about the next lap. i’m not even worried about the next turn. i want “step by step” and “little by little” to be my largest concerns.

i think it’s when we are faithful with little that we are trusted with more. i think that we have to do the “little by little” first because running the entire race at once would be entirely overwhelming, not to mention the lack of sense it makes. people, we have to live one moment, one minute at a time, because we literally cannot live in two minutes at once. that’s as “nuts and bolts” as we can get… it can’t be about the next moment until we finish this one. and we also don’t get to be mad at time for passing so quickly if all we’re going to do is wish for the next chapter.

have you ever tried to read the instructions on how to build something or the entire recipe on how to cook something and realize that trying to memorize all the steps 1-10 at once is pretty impossible…? sometimes i get ahead of myself and think that i’m going to be able to follow like… four steps at once. and i’m always wrong. that never works. and the same is true for whatever path we’re on. there’s directions, but sometimes it’s as simple as, “run.” are you looking for something more complicated than that? do you think you need more information than that? sometimes we don’t get more information than that. no further instructions, no reasons why, and it doesn’t make any sense to us.

for example. i fired this blog back up about 12 weeks ago or so… i still don’t know why. you reading this right now is definitely part of the reason, but beyond that, i’m not really sure. maybe it’s not deeper than that. but i keep feeling compelled to write it. so here i am writing. and dang it, i am loving it. if there’s no further purpose, then ok, because the horse just loves to run.

i hope i allow that sentiment to bleed over into whatever i’m doing. and i hope you do to. i hope not everything you do today or this week “needs” a purpose, so to speak. i hope you can find a way to do something just because you love it. just because you’re a human who gets to breathe air into your lungs and do things for the enjoyment of being alive. not because it gains you anything, not because it “moves the needle” or whatever. just because you can. these are little moments in life that i believe we could use a lot more of.

in what ways can you just “love to run” in your life today?

//anxiety//

it’s been a heavy week for me mentally, and if i’m alone in that, that’s a good thing – i don’t wish weeks like this on anyone. i’m not tired necessarily from the week. i’m tired because i’ve been constantly battling with my mind trying to keep it as positive as possible. unfortunately, i’ve been falling short majority of the days…

what on Earth do i possibly have to worry about?! you may ask… and i’ll give you my whole whimpy list right here – maybe you can see yourself in some of this: am i doing enough?, am i good enough?, am i enough, period?, is this working?, fear and worry about success or failure, anxiety over what people think, worried i missed the boat on something, am i parenting well enough?, am i “relationship”ing well enough?, i didn’t work out today, what a failure, why am i eating so terribly?, why isn’t this happening faster?, mad that my efforts aren’t turning to fruit, worried that they won’t… should i continue? i won’t… you get the picture.

i took it to the Word, though. and without getting too preachy on you, i’ll give you some of my practical takeaways.

did you know that sometimes people obtain their success in not-so-innocent ways? have you ever stopped to consider that when you’re scrolling around in comparison mode in the black hole of the internet? people will go out of their way, oftentimes against their own inner dialogue, morals, or values to obtain success. and they’ll go brag about it like it’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to them. no one is telling you exactly how they got to where they are. they are simply showing off that they got there.

when i stop to think about that, it kicks me in the face and brings me right back down to Earth. or whatever planet i’m from.

did you also know that fast success isn’t sustainable? it’s not lasting success. fast relationships, fast money, fast anything – not the same as steady and sustainable. it’s just not the thing that’s built on a firm foundation and gonna stand the test of time. fast success is just that – fast. success. not lasting success. not fulfilling success. not better, not more, not happier…. fast. and sometimes the bigger they are, the harder they fall. that’s my first takeaway.

my second takeaway – it’s not the prudent person that’s got something to prove. it’s not the grounded, sound, confident person that’s out here trying to show off or show out. that’s the insecure, not confident person. and you can be whoever you wanna be in this life, but if i’ve got my choice, i want to be grounded. i want to be well-founded. i want to build my house on rock, not sand. it’s not usually the modest person that gets noticed first, but i’ll be danged if they’re not well-respected in their own time.

i’m gonna go ahead and print these words for myself and make wallpaper out of them… i know i’m going to forget tomorrow and need a front and center reminder… feel free to do the same.

♥, SF

what even is “too much?”

Firing this thing back up. Look out.

I’ve had this thought rolling around in my head lately – “what is ‘too much,’ anyway?”

It’s something i’ve been told many times in my life. It’s something i’ve felt for most of my life. And i’m still not quite sure i know really what it means. And here’s why.

Would we look at a child and say the things they’re interested in are “too much?” would we look them dead in the face when they told us what they wanted to be when they grew up (even if the answer was different from week to week), and tell them “yea, you can’t do that.” i would hope not. So why do we do it to each other (and ourselves) now that we’re grown? Does that really serve us?

I’m coming at this thought after being in my backyard scooping horse crap, as i often do… and thinking to myself, “how on earth does a girl get involved in so many things… and what sense does it make?” my guitar-playing, song-writing, shampoo-selling, clean beauty-caring, bonus-moming, relationship-doing, animal-owning self barely makes sense to myself sometimes, but why is that too much? Why do i feel the urge to make sense of it? Is it not ok to just be as i am?

Why do i worry when i’m making something for our beloved social media, whether or not it’s going to make sense to someone else or whether or not it’s “on brand” enough? Why do i worry and why do i care? And i’m positive i’m not the only one who struggles with this.

We’re in a world where we have to make sense to others, and that’s a problem to me. The only person i really wanna make sure i make sense to is myself and the One that created me. And what kind of daughter would i be if i looked my Father in the eye and said “i think you made me too much… i think i like too many things, and i really think i should tone it down… mostly because of what other people think and say.”

That sounds especially ridiculous when typed out in black and white.

If the fact that i pursue songwriting as a career but also have a passion for clean beauty but also love animals and have a bunch of them (including three farm animals in a subdivision) but also am a bonus mom and also love Jesus and also am pretty vulnerable and about the things that i’ve been through in my life and also have a great relationship to top it all off is too much, well, i guess, as politely as possible…. Go find less…?

Sure, it’s a lot to juggle sometimes, but if i’m being honest, i wouldn’t trade it. And if there’s anything in that list that i’d look at and say, “yea, that’s not worth the time it’s taking up in my life. Not worth the space…” then i guess i’ll cut it. But for now, there’s nothing in there i’d like to go without.

What made us so concerned with the portrayal of ourselves we put out into the world, anyway? Why do we even have this “instagram vs. reality” thing? Why do we spend so much time curating, perfecting, beautifying? And who says it has to be so unilateral? Or else it might “confuse” people… and you “can’t be successful” if you’re too confusing… if it’s wrong to have a rich life full of many beautiful things, then screw it, i don’t wanna be right. And that’s my final answer.

Last time i checked, no one got mad at Instagram for starting off as a photo-sharing platform and now being a full blown video editing software. No one is upset that TikTok started out as a place where dancing videos were your ticket to fame but now it’s a glorified child of Amazon. We just go along with it and figure it out, glitches and all (am i right??). Things ebb and flow and change all the dang time. Things start out as one thing and morph into another, they add, they progress, they diversify. So why are we so reluctant, even scared, to do that for ourselves? Why is it seen as a weakness to be interested, involved, or good at “too many” things?

Frankly, I’m over it. I’ve wrestled with the thought too many times for too long. I’ve wasted too many minutes trying to figure out how to present myself in a way that makes sense to y’all. So here it is in a nutshell. For today anyway. Until i add or subtract something.

Hello, i’m Sarah. I’m a musician, mainly songwriter and guitar player, and i write songs about my life – both the wins and the losses. Because of this journey i’ve been on, I care a little extra about my health, both mental and physical, and i think there’s a lot we can do for ourselves in those departments to make sure we’re setting ourselves up for success. I’m a big fan of my family, a lot of my family has fur and four legs, but i’m especially grateful for the humans. I’ve got a relationship that’s much more than i deserve and two (bonus) kids i never thought i’d have.

Yep, it’s a lot. But it’s a lot to be grateful for. I guess it’s a little like my liberal arts education…. Well-rounded.

photo credit: the incomparable Alisa Thayne <3