empowering women – Sarah Faith

carrying stuff

it’s been a week, y’all. for real. it’s not been particularly physically demanding, but mentally, it’s been a great week of growth and introspection.

do you ever allow yourself a minute to just be introspective? if not, let this be your sign. some of my biggest moments of self-growth have been when i’m calling myself out, holding my own feet to the fire, and examining my own character to see if i’m actually being the person i’m meant to be.

let me be clear – my inner dialogue hijacked by the Holy Spirit is really what does the refining here. if it were up to me, i would just probably continue being a normal human that tries her best, but ultimately just kind of does whatever the heck she wants. this week, Spirit said no. Spirit said all those cobwebs i’ve been allowing to sit in the corner and all the dust i’ve been allowing to collect all gotta go.

so they’re going. it’s a radical accountability i’ve not really pushed myself to have until now. i think that just comes with time, and in no way am i trying to speak to you like i’m an expert, but… as someone that feels compelled to write about these things, i’m simply sharing what’s on my heart around this subject.

your conscience is calling you higher, but that doesn’t make it so. you gotta do the work. so i’m doing the work. i monitor what comes out of my mouth. i watch the friendships i’m nourishing. i watch the kinds of relationships i’m pursuing. i’m conscious about how i’m talking about and building my brand partnership. i’m weeding out songs in my set list that don’t necessarily reflect that kinds of things i’d like to be singing about. it’s like… an all encompassing overhaul. and it’s hard. but. it needed to be done.

in what ways do you feel yourself pulled? better yet, in what ways do you feel yourself frustrated…? because for me… that’s also sometimes where it ACTUALLY starts. it’s not necessarily me with all this wisdom, sitting around like, “oh… i think i should change this now…” i feel the misalignment. i feel the nudge. and it feels frustrating. and i know THAT’S the point of growth.

i titled this blog Carrying Stuff because it’s not until this growth happens that you’ll be able to carry more. it feels heavy… but you have to learn how to lift it. the only way you’re going to be able to lift it… is if you’re forced to. because Lord knows i’m not trying to be around here adding extra weight ot my plate. i’m thankful for the growth. i’m thankful for the opportunity. and i’m thankful for the growing pains. because i know they only mean that i’m on my way to being trusted with lifting more things, being responsible for more things, able to steward more things.

it’s a blessing to be a blessing – that’s the real fact. and we’re blessed to be able to be forged in this fire.

kinda deep-ish this time around… hope it helped you today ♥

what even is “too much?”

Firing this thing back up. Look out.

I’ve had this thought rolling around in my head lately – “what is ‘too much,’ anyway?”

It’s something i’ve been told many times in my life. It’s something i’ve felt for most of my life. And i’m still not quite sure i know really what it means. And here’s why.

Would we look at a child and say the things they’re interested in are “too much?” would we look them dead in the face when they told us what they wanted to be when they grew up (even if the answer was different from week to week), and tell them “yea, you can’t do that.” i would hope not. So why do we do it to each other (and ourselves) now that we’re grown? Does that really serve us?

I’m coming at this thought after being in my backyard scooping horse crap, as i often do… and thinking to myself, “how on earth does a girl get involved in so many things… and what sense does it make?” my guitar-playing, song-writing, shampoo-selling, clean beauty-caring, bonus-moming, relationship-doing, animal-owning self barely makes sense to myself sometimes, but why is that too much? Why do i feel the urge to make sense of it? Is it not ok to just be as i am?

Why do i worry when i’m making something for our beloved social media, whether or not it’s going to make sense to someone else or whether or not it’s “on brand” enough? Why do i worry and why do i care? And i’m positive i’m not the only one who struggles with this.

We’re in a world where we have to make sense to others, and that’s a problem to me. The only person i really wanna make sure i make sense to is myself and the One that created me. And what kind of daughter would i be if i looked my Father in the eye and said “i think you made me too much… i think i like too many things, and i really think i should tone it down… mostly because of what other people think and say.”

That sounds especially ridiculous when typed out in black and white.

If the fact that i pursue songwriting as a career but also have a passion for clean beauty but also love animals and have a bunch of them (including three farm animals in a subdivision) but also am a bonus mom and also love Jesus and also am pretty vulnerable and about the things that i’ve been through in my life and also have a great relationship to top it all off is too much, well, i guess, as politely as possible…. Go find less…?

Sure, it’s a lot to juggle sometimes, but if i’m being honest, i wouldn’t trade it. And if there’s anything in that list that i’d look at and say, “yea, that’s not worth the time it’s taking up in my life. Not worth the space…” then i guess i’ll cut it. But for now, there’s nothing in there i’d like to go without.

What made us so concerned with the portrayal of ourselves we put out into the world, anyway? Why do we even have this “instagram vs. reality” thing? Why do we spend so much time curating, perfecting, beautifying? And who says it has to be so unilateral? Or else it might “confuse” people… and you “can’t be successful” if you’re too confusing… if it’s wrong to have a rich life full of many beautiful things, then screw it, i don’t wanna be right. And that’s my final answer.

Last time i checked, no one got mad at Instagram for starting off as a photo-sharing platform and now being a full blown video editing software. No one is upset that TikTok started out as a place where dancing videos were your ticket to fame but now it’s a glorified child of Amazon. We just go along with it and figure it out, glitches and all (am i right??). Things ebb and flow and change all the dang time. Things start out as one thing and morph into another, they add, they progress, they diversify. So why are we so reluctant, even scared, to do that for ourselves? Why is it seen as a weakness to be interested, involved, or good at “too many” things?

Frankly, I’m over it. I’ve wrestled with the thought too many times for too long. I’ve wasted too many minutes trying to figure out how to present myself in a way that makes sense to y’all. So here it is in a nutshell. For today anyway. Until i add or subtract something.

Hello, i’m Sarah. I’m a musician, mainly songwriter and guitar player, and i write songs about my life – both the wins and the losses. Because of this journey i’ve been on, I care a little extra about my health, both mental and physical, and i think there’s a lot we can do for ourselves in those departments to make sure we’re setting ourselves up for success. I’m a big fan of my family, a lot of my family has fur and four legs, but i’m especially grateful for the humans. I’ve got a relationship that’s much more than i deserve and two (bonus) kids i never thought i’d have.

Yep, it’s a lot. But it’s a lot to be grateful for. I guess it’s a little like my liberal arts education…. Well-rounded.

photo credit: the incomparable Alisa Thayne <3