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vulnerability

what even is “too much?”

December 16, 2023 by Sarah Faith
blog posts.
Building self-worth, Embracing yourself, empowering women, mental health, mental health blog, Mental health tips for musicians, Mindful self-acceptance, Mindfulness for musicians, musician, Musician mental health, Musicians and wellbeing, Overcoming self-doubt, purpose, sarah faith, sarah faith music, self care, self love, Self-acceptance journey, Self-acceptance tips, Self-care for musicians, Self-compassion techniques, Self-love practices, songwriter, vulnerability

Firing this thing back up. Look out. 

I’ve had this thought rolling around in my head lately – “what is ‘too much,’ anyway?” 

It’s something i’ve been told many times in my life. It’s something i’ve felt for most of my life. And i’m still not quite sure i know really what it means. And here’s why.

Would we look at a child and say the things they’re interested in are “too much?” would we look them dead in the face when they told us what they wanted to be when they grew up (even if the answer was different from week to week), and tell them “yea, you can’t do that.” i would hope not. So why do we do it to each other (and ourselves) now that we’re grown? Does that really serve us?

I’m coming at this thought after being in my backyard scooping horse crap, as i often do… and thinking to myself, “how on earth does a girl get involved in so many things… and what sense does it make?” my guitar-playing, song-writing, shampoo-selling, clean beauty-caring, bonus-moming, relationship-doing, animal-owning self barely makes sense to myself sometimes, but why is that too much? Why do i feel the urge to make sense of it? Is it not ok to just be as i am?

Why do i worry when i’m making something for our beloved social media, whether or not it’s going to make sense to someone else or whether or not it’s “on brand” enough? Why do i worry and why do i care? And i’m positive i’m not the only one who struggles with this. 

We’re in a world where we have to make sense to others, and that’s a problem to me. The only person i really wanna make sure i make sense to is myself and the One that created me. And what kind of daughter would i be if i looked my Father in the eye and said “i think you made me too much… i think i like too many things, and i really think i should tone it down… mostly because of what other people think and say.” 

That sounds especially ridiculous when typed out in black and white. 

If the fact that i pursue songwriting as a career but also have a passion for clean beauty but also love animals and have a bunch of them (including three farm animals in a subdivision) but also am a bonus mom and also love Jesus and also am pretty vulnerable and about the things that i’ve been through in my life and also have a great relationship to top it all off is too much, well, i guess, as politely as possible…. Go find less…? 

Sure, it’s a lot to juggle sometimes, but if i’m being honest, i wouldn’t trade it. And if there’s anything in that list that i’d look at and say, “yea, that’s not worth the time it’s taking up in my life. Not worth the space…” then i guess i’ll cut it. But for now, there’s nothing in there i’d like to go without. 

What made us so concerned with the portrayal of ourselves we put out into the world, anyway? Why do we even have this “instagram vs. reality” thing? Why do we spend so much time curating, perfecting, beautifying? And who says it has to be so unilateral? Or else it might “confuse” people… and you “can’t be successful” if you’re too confusing… if it’s wrong to have a rich life full of many beautiful things, then screw it, i don’t wanna be right. And that’s my final answer. 

Last time i checked, no one got mad at Instagram for starting off as a photo-sharing platform and now being a full blown video editing software. No one is upset that TikTok started out as a place where dancing videos were your ticket to fame but now it’s a glorified child of Amazon. We just go along with it and figure it out, glitches and all (am i right??). Things ebb and flow and change all the dang time. Things start out as one thing and morph into another, they add, they progress, they diversify. So why are we so reluctant, even scared, to do that for ourselves? Why is it seen as a weakness to be interested, involved, or good at “too many” things?

Frankly, I’m over it. I’ve wrestled with the thought too many times for too long. I’ve wasted too many minutes trying to figure out how to present myself in a way that makes sense to y’all. So here it is in a nutshell. For today anyway. Until i add or subtract something.

Hello, i’m Sarah. I’m a musician, mainly songwriter and guitar player, and i write songs about my life – both the wins and the losses. Because of this journey i’ve been on, I care a little extra about my health, both mental and physical, and i think there’s a lot we can do for ourselves in those departments to make sure we’re setting ourselves up for success. I’m a big fan of my family, a lot of my family has fur and four legs, but i’m especially grateful for the humans. I’ve got a relationship that’s much more than i deserve and two (bonus) kids i never thought i’d have. 

Yep, it’s a lot. But it’s a lot to be grateful for. I guess it’s a little like my liberal arts education…. Well-rounded.

photo credit: the incomparable Alisa Thayne <3

yea, but…..

September 18, 2020 by Sarah Faith
blog posts.
americana music, confidence, country music, female musician, meaningful music, music for healing, music with purpose, musician, nashville musician, new music, original music, sarah faith music, songwriter, vulnerability

just saying… i’m trying like hell to cut this phrase out of my vocabulary. the “yea but”s are gonna keep you from doing the things you’re put here to do. i don’t know a single person who has time for that.

i cannot count how many times i’ve been talking to someone and either i’ll suggest something to them that would be TOTALLY AWESOME, or they suggest something to me that would be SUPER AMAZING, and both of us kill the idea with a “yea, but….” a situation comes to mind where a friend of mine just wasn’t pumped with how things were going, and i simply presented the possibility of a change and i got a bunch of “yea, but”s in return. “yea, but i need the money. yea, but i don’t know where to start. yea, but it’s scary. yea, but what if it fails.?”

those are just a few that popped into mind immediately. they came up pretty fast actually because my “yea, but” muscle is a pretty dang strong one. the only thing is… my “let’s do it anyway” muscle is stronger.

i caught myself just this week – i was trying to make a decision and i heard my mind coming up with all of these “yea, but”s – a bunch of BS, fear-filled worries, really. i know that when they’re all rooted in fear, their credibility isn’t that great. so… i’m writing this as a notice that “yea but”s don’t rule my life, and they shouldn’t have a say in yours either!

here’s another example – i’ve been in way too many relationships where “yea, but”s steered me wrong. i should have left long before i did, but i kept thinking, “yea, but what if i’m wrong? yea, but what if he can change? yea, but i’m not perfect either. yea, but just one more chance.” and each and every last one of those statements kept me in a toxic relationship that wasn’t serving me or helping me become my best self. i’m thankful to have learned the lessons, but i’m not gonna keep learning them the hard way, and i’m not gonna keep wasting time on “yea, but”s.

if we only get a certain number of times around the sun, and we don’t have knowledge of what that magic number is, i think we owe it to ourselves not to waste it on “yea, but”s. personally, i’d rather spend time finding out if the fears are legitimate than living paralyzed, never able to learn anything at all. if you choose a direction, you can always change it or pivot it or shift it or whatever. if you choose to do nothing, and are terrified of the fork in the road, well, a stopped car doesn’t usually have much direction or make much progress.

it’s all our choice, though. we get to Choose!! this is all why #ChooseYourLegacy means so much to me – it makes me So So sad to see people stopped dead in their tracks because of all these “yea, but” statements they can’t get off their mind. i’ll boldly state that i am Choosing not to let “yea, but”s rule my life. i would love to know what obstacles you’re facing that need to have their power taken away!

♥,
SF

eight days left.

May 21, 2020 by Sarah Faith
blog posts.
americana artist, americana music, female musician, independent artist, meaningful music, mindset, music for healing, music with purpose, nashville musician, nashville songwriter, new artist, original music, sarah faith, sarah faith music, share your story, singer, singer songwriter, songwriter, up and coming artist, vulnerability

only eight days stand between me and release day. i’m VERY excited – i can’t wait for everyone to hear what i’ve been working on, thinking about, tweaking multiple times, listening to probably about a thousand times, dreaming about, and completely pouring myself into. this song means the world to me, and i think the largest reason is because it’s the beginning of many many more.

it’s the start of my purpose. it’s the first time i’m addressing the world and letting the universe know i’m here for real and ready to be used, ready to serve, to give my heart, soul, stories – really ready to give all of myself to leave this place a little better than when i came. to help people put into words things they can’t themselves understand. to really spread the message that just because you come from a mess doesn’t mean that you are a mess. you can have a dysfunctional past without the necessity of a dysfunctional future. i truly believe these things, and i’ll keep repeating them over and over again, reaching as many people as i possibly can.

i always said if i impacted one person, all of this would be worth it – everything from the good to the bad. for all the times i was going through stuff with my family, with my mental health, with everything that comes from being a child of an alcoholic… it was all worth it – so worth it that i’d do the same thing over and over again. when i’m asked what the one thing is that i’d do for free – my answer is undoubtedly share my story. looking back, i spent so much time trying to act like everything was fine, trying to fit in, be the hero, take care of everything, when all i really wanted was to tell people how confused i was and how much of a toll my home life was taking on me. all i wanted was someone to understand my confusion. shit, i’m still confused sometimes and my mind is still caught up in where i’ve been now and again. the difference is now i know where i’m going and i know there’s a greater purpose, so it helps with some of that confusion.

where am i going? i always love talking with people about this. i was chatting on the phone today and i could feel myself get really amped at this point of the conversation. for me, this isn’t just about making pretty music and laughing and having an easy life. my journey as a singer-songwriter is about doing things i never thought i could do. saying things i never thought i’d be able to say. seeing things in a way i never thought i’d see them. i thought i was hopeless, useless, and pointless, and as i continue to wake up to the dreams inside my soul and start looking at them as not only possibilities, but outcomes, everything shifts. everything changes. the shit show that i used to drown in becomes a platform that holds me up – my weaknesses become my strengths.

can’t wait to have you on this journey with me. it’s about to be one amazing, unbelievable, unapologetic ride.

♥
SF

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