carrying stuff

it’s been a week, y’all. for real. it’s not been particularly physically demanding, but mentally, it’s been a great week of growth and introspection.

do you ever allow yourself a minute to just be introspective? if not, let this be your sign. some of my biggest moments of self-growth have been when i’m calling myself out, holding my own feet to the fire, and examining my own character to see if i’m actually being the person i’m meant to be.

let me be clear – my inner dialogue hijacked by the Holy Spirit is really what does the refining here. if it were up to me, i would just probably continue being a normal human that tries her best, but ultimately just kind of does whatever the heck she wants. this week, Spirit said no. Spirit said all those cobwebs i’ve been allowing to sit in the corner and all the dust i’ve been allowing to collect all gotta go.

so they’re going. it’s a radical accountability i’ve not really pushed myself to have until now. i think that just comes with time, and in no way am i trying to speak to you like i’m an expert, but… as someone that feels compelled to write about these things, i’m simply sharing what’s on my heart around this subject.

your conscience is calling you higher, but that doesn’t make it so. you gotta do the work. so i’m doing the work. i monitor what comes out of my mouth. i watch the friendships i’m nourishing. i watch the kinds of relationships i’m pursuing. i’m conscious about how i’m talking about and building my brand partnership. i’m weeding out songs in my set list that don’t necessarily reflect that kinds of things i’d like to be singing about. it’s like… an all encompassing overhaul. and it’s hard. but. it needed to be done.

in what ways do you feel yourself pulled? better yet, in what ways do you feel yourself frustrated…? because for me… that’s also sometimes where it ACTUALLY starts. it’s not necessarily me with all this wisdom, sitting around like, “oh… i think i should change this now…” i feel the misalignment. i feel the nudge. and it feels frustrating. and i know THAT’S the point of growth.

i titled this blog Carrying Stuff because it’s not until this growth happens that you’ll be able to carry more. it feels heavy… but you have to learn how to lift it. the only way you’re going to be able to lift it… is if you’re forced to. because Lord knows i’m not trying to be around here adding extra weight ot my plate. i’m thankful for the growth. i’m thankful for the opportunity. and i’m thankful for the growing pains. because i know they only mean that i’m on my way to being trusted with lifting more things, being responsible for more things, able to steward more things.

it’s a blessing to be a blessing – that’s the real fact. and we’re blessed to be able to be forged in this fire.

kinda deep-ish this time around… hope it helped you today ♥