enjoying the here and now

the horse just loves to run

i listened to Cody Asbury’s new album in the car this morning and i found myself getting really down with so many of the lyrics but one of them stuck out to me more than others:

“the jockey lives for racing, the horse just loves to run”

you could probably take these words a number of ways, but here’s my interpretation – i get excited about racing just like any human, but what i really wanna be like is the horse. win or lose, i just want to love to run. i want to have my blinders on and be so excited about where i’m going that i don’t have to care about the interpretation of the result. i don’t even have to worry about winning or not because to enjoy the journey is to win. the win or loss is subjective. how can you lose when you’re enjoying where you’re at, blooming where you’re planted? where’s the loss in that?

i don’t even want to worry about the finish line. i just want to be in the moment. running, doing, being, breathing, loving, enjoying, serving, giving – whatever it is that i need to do to run the race right now, that’s what i want to focus on. i’m not worried about the next lap. i’m not even worried about the next turn. i want “step by step” and “little by little” to be my largest concerns.

i think it’s when we are faithful with little that we are trusted with more. i think that we have to do the “little by little” first because running the entire race at once would be entirely overwhelming, not to mention the lack of sense it makes. people, we have to live one moment, one minute at a time, because we literally cannot live in two minutes at once. that’s as “nuts and bolts” as we can get… it can’t be about the next moment until we finish this one. and we also don’t get to be mad at time for passing so quickly if all we’re going to do is wish for the next chapter.

have you ever tried to read the instructions on how to build something or the entire recipe on how to cook something and realize that trying to memorize all the steps 1-10 at once is pretty impossible…? sometimes i get ahead of myself and think that i’m going to be able to follow like… four steps at once. and i’m always wrong. that never works. and the same is true for whatever path we’re on. there’s directions, but sometimes it’s as simple as, “run.” are you looking for something more complicated than that? do you think you need more information than that? sometimes we don’t get more information than that. no further instructions, no reasons why, and it doesn’t make any sense to us.

for example. i fired this blog back up about 12 weeks ago or so… i still don’t know why. you reading this right now is definitely part of the reason, but beyond that, i’m not really sure. maybe it’s not deeper than that. but i keep feeling compelled to write it. so here i am writing. and dang it, i am loving it. if there’s no further purpose, then ok, because the horse just loves to run.

i hope i allow that sentiment to bleed over into whatever i’m doing. and i hope you do to. i hope not everything you do today or this week “needs” a purpose, so to speak. i hope you can find a way to do something just because you love it. just because you’re a human who gets to breathe air into your lungs and do things for the enjoyment of being alive. not because it gains you anything, not because it “moves the needle” or whatever. just because you can. these are little moments in life that i believe we could use a lot more of.

in what ways can you just “love to run” in your life today?

contentment

// con-tent-ment // : (n) the state of being happy or satisfied; the acceptance of things “as they are.”

full disclosure, i struggle on and off with this. i’m feeling moved to write about it, but i myself do wrestle with it.

something about the way society keeps making “more” look like it equates to “better.” something about the way i keep desiring, keep wanting, keep looking, scouting, hoping, wishing… makes it pretty hard to feel content when i can’t seem to keep my eyes from wandering everywhere else but the path in front of me.

i think i’ve also got this silly belief that “contentment” means “giving up” or “losing hope” or “get what you get and don’t throw a fit.”

but i think those definitions are sorely mistaken. that kind of contentment assumes it’s never gonna get any better than this, so you might as well get used to it. which is actually really sad.

i don’t actually want to carry around those lifeless, hopeless definitions of contentment anymore, so i’m going to ~~put~~ keep trying to put them down (and leave them there… because i seem to somehow keep picking them back up…). if you’re feeling yourself carrying anything similar, i invite you to put it down with me. i desire for us to find more mental peace, and the more we keep assuming that we have to strive in order be happy, the less of that peace i believe we’re going to find. we’re also not super likely to find peace in the thoughts that we’re “settling for less” or that we’re “damaged goods” that don’t deserve what we’re dreaming of.

truly, if we’re responsible and content with what we’ve currently got, there’s no reason we wouldn’t in the future be entrusted with more. it’s being content with what i have in the here and now that i know i’ve gotta keep working on. the ability to steward properly the things i’m currently holding in my hand. focusing on my ability to be grateful for all of this good stuff i’m to blessed to have – that’s when the blessings come. the blessings multiply. and i believe a really good first step is contentment in your present circumstances and situation.

sometimes that’s really hard, because sometimes the current stuff we’re going through is just not that pretty. it’s not fun, it’s not easy, and we’re ready to be done with this valley season. to that i say – the valleys mean peaks are on the way. the lows help us appreciate the highs, and there’s still a good amount of contentment to be found in that. even when we don’t feel like smiling. even when the “oh, it’ll be over soon…” is like, the most annoying thing someone could possibly be saying… it’s worth trying to take a second, take a breath, and find a mini moment of contentment. it will pass, and when the next person you know is going through their own personal valley, they’ll have someone to lean on who’s living proof that even the darkest of nights have a glimmer of hope at the end.

i’ll doubly admit – contentment is definitely something i’m always working towards. but. maybe by sharing this, i’ll help you feel less alone if it’s one of your battles too. and i’ll find some accountability partners along the way.

♥, SF