motivation – Sarah Faith

arguing with yourself

March 14, 2025 by Sarah Faith

christian, christian blog, christian life, how to grow, how to level up, how to live a peaceful life, how to start something, level up your faith, mental health, mental peace strategies, mindset, motivation, self care, self-care for women, trust the process

i do it. we all do it. i’m just trying to get better at it. and if you’re anything like me, the arguments often involve questions or frustrations about where anything is leading, why i feel stuck, what if this doesn’t work, i’m wasting so much time with this, what is the point, etc.

if it’s just me feel free to quit reading and email me your ways because you’re clearly got this more figured out than i do. for the rest of us, let’s continue.

what i’ve learned is that feeling stuck is just that. a feeling. staying stuck is a choice. there’s always an option. there’s always another door. there’s always an option you didn’t consider because you were too busy elbows deep in your “stuck-ness” to realize what was right there in front of you. i’m not going to say “the whole time,” because hopefully we’re not that oblivious. but… some time, anyway.

being skeptical or afraid or worrisome isn’t something i think any of us are ever truly going to escape, but we do get to control our response. fight, flight, or freeze… i don’t feel like freeze is ever really the option here… so we gotta figure out how to listen better and take the action.

but what if it doesn’t work? what if it’s not right? what if it’s a big waste of time? what about Thomas Edison – were all of his failures wastes of time? i would argue not… i would say that all that failing led to a pretty cool outcome. we still use that thing today he failed so hard at. dare we adjust our thinking toward more of a “what if this is the thing that works?” mentality. i mean, would it really be so bad to bet on ourselves and expect something to work out, EVEN IF the gamble at hand is nothing more than a lesson. i think we also would do well to adjust our definition of failure. because there’s a quote somewhere that assures Edison did not indeed fail – he just learned a bazillion ways to NOT make a light bulb. maybe you have tried before. maybe it did feel like an epic failure. i didn’t quit trying to learn how to ride a bike when i fell on my face or crashed into a fence because my mom thought it was a good idea to teach me to ride on a downhill slope headed straight toward the neighbor’s yard…. didn’t tickle, but i didn’t quit.

can we just try, one time, for one minute, to give up this hero mentality that we have to get it 100% right the very first try and we have to know all the things to get us there without asking for help because asking for help means we’re stupid and not being able to know how to do stuff also means we’re stupid… i mean i feel ridiculous even typing this. it’s the dumbest thing ever. yet i’ve felt it and argued with myself over it multiple times in the past. maybe the point is growth in the process, gaining knowledge and understanding the entire time. maybe we’re meant to learn a half a boat load of ways to NOT do something, before we’re gifted with the knowledge of how to succeed. i’ve come to find out in my limited time on this planet that you don’t get any closer to winning by refusing to try for fear of losing. every soccer game i ever played, i stood the chance of losing. sometimes i did. miserably in some games. but at the end of the game, all of could sit there and identify things that we could do better the next time to that we didn’t drink the same poison twice.

if you’re arguing with yourself about doing something — you just don’t wanna do it — maybe part of that “i don’t wanna” is because you’re afraid of losing or failing… and what would people say about you if you failed? guess what… if they had anything to say at all, it shouldn’t be anything short of applause and encouragement, because at least you got the bravery to try. chances are they didn’t. the people who are “out there doing things” are too busy fighting for their own success to judge you. the people judging you are too busy “not out there doing things” to try. they’re giving in to those age old dear-based arguments of “i don’t have time” or “i don’t have money…” look, in a lot of cases, those are the exact problems we’re trying to solve. and nothing is going to change if you refuse to change a thing.

usually, the conclusion of these arguments with myself end with some form of the realization that doing nothing is a good way to stay in the very circumstance you’re trying to escape. see also: sitting on your hands, wasting time, not stewarding gifts, not using talents, apprehension…. it’s all keeping you in the same seat, year after year. same scenery. same outcomes. because we’re too easy to let fear take the wheel and “get us to safety.” but there’s not growth in safety. there’s no resilience or furthering or leveling up…. none of that exists in complacency and fear.

so i think it’s time for us to stop arguing with ourselves and get a little mud on our sleeves. roll those babies up and get to work. try something. try anything. if it fails, try something else. the true waste of time is the idleness you’re allowing yourself to sit in, waiting for the “perfect time” or to be “ready” to start. perfect and ready aren’t coming. they’re cousins of fear and they all hang out together, colluding to keep you “safe” — also known as stuck.

love you!

xo, Sarah

me vs. me

i looked at the calendar this week and was shocked that it was the end of November already. i’m not sure how we got here… so close to 2025, yet still so many things i feel like i’d still love to accomplish this year.

maybe that’s you as well. maybe it’s been a long year, one that you can look back on and see that while a LOT of things happened, there’s still things left to tackle. and man, i really want to blame the circumstances. but i know that’s not really fair. or even true.

this isn’t the first time i’ve felt like this, and it probably won’t be the last. because the true issue is that it’s me vs. me. i’m the one that got in the way often times. i’ve got so many dreams, so many aspirations, so much drive… and sometimes, at the end of the day, i can honestly say that i’m not sure how to reach them because of two things: 1. i’m relying on myself, my own strength, and my own ideas too much and 2. i’m trusting in the actual possibility of these things happening too little.

bold statement: overthinking will kill your dreams. it will kill your motivation. it will just suck every ounce of energy you have if you let it. this is probably another one of my biggest opportunities for growth, although i will say that i’ve proven to myself time and time again that action is the way over this hurdle. even if it’s messy. even if it doesn’t make sense. there’s a certain kind of “magic” that happens when you’re putting energy out… it comes back around. stagnation breeds more stagnation, but action shakes things up. it’s like this saying that i’ve heard that has stuck with me for a couple years now: “God can’t steer a parked car.” there’s no specific direction in that statement. you just have to move. He can help you with the rest, but you do have to take some action. i do need to get out of my own head long enough to take a step forward. there’s always room to take a step sideways if you need to redirect, but if laws of inertia are true, motion is the first order of business. an object at rest will remain at rest.

maybe you’ve been here a while and you’ve heard me talking about self-care. this is another reason i think self-care is so dang important. especially this time of year. sometimes it may not connect that it has anything to do with anything else, but it DOES. you’re in motion. you’re moving. you’re thinking. you’re giving yourself space. doing a hair treatment or a skincare routine isn’t just about how my hair or skin look. it’s about my thoughts and giving myself that time to create space in there. this brain is so jam packed full of so much stuff on any given day, it’s like a dang circus. i need a minute to calm the monkeys and put out the fires. there’s magic to be found in that space! but you can’t get the space if you don’t make it. it’s too busy and crazy and chaotic of a life. and i don’t even have kids in this house all the time! so i really don’t know how the rest of you normal people do it.

easy things that help me create space:

gratitude + bible time in the morning
double washing my hair in the shower
morning and evening skincare routine
going for a walk
getting dressed in something i’d like to wear
taking a few extra minutes to fix my hair
turning on worship music

things that DO NOT CREATE SPACE

doing more things than i have the capacity for
scrolling more
thinking that the anxiety goes away by continuing to take on more
convincing myself there’s no time to take even 5 deep breaths
hyper focusing on my to-do list
equating my to-do list with success

notice how the things that create space are not really related to what we consider “progress” at all. they’re separate. they’re different. they’re kind of not even in the same neighborhood. but your brain needs it. trust me. your body needs it. trust me. it’s not the to-do list that’s going to give you peace. ever. i love getting things done, but not at the expense of my mood and physical well-being. though sometimes i forget this and work myself silly anyway… i’m working on this, too.

i guess what i’m saying is… taking these last 45 days of the year to put yourself on blast and guilt trip yourself for your failures isn’t going to create any kind of last minute progress. i don’t feel anyway… it’s certainly not a recipe for propelling you into a better 2025. what i would do is take some small actions day by day that get you in motion. i broke some promises to myself this year, too. some feel in my control, and some don’t. either way, all i can do is create the space and get the car moving. once there’s space to actually think, i think the direction becomes a lot clearer and kind of starts to take shape on its own.

i just gotta move first. because when i’m stagnant, it’s me vs. me.

what i tell myself

no fluff to start this blog, because it’s worth just jumping in. there’s no way to count the number of false things i’ve told myself in this life — stories, lies, opinions… way too many. and that’s not the punchline. that’s not the worst part. the worst part is when i believe them. and that i’m not alone.

it’s been so heavy on my heart this week the absolute number of people that are in this boat. truth is it’s not one that’s floating. it’s a sinking ship. one that we’re apparently willing to drown on. you need to get off the boat. you need to take a leap and get off of the ride. get. off. the. ride.

how many times are we going to wake up and say “man, i wish this looked different,” or, “wouldn’t it be nice if…” but do nothing about it? make absolutely zero effort to walk in that direction. we live in a wild world, but we still don’t live in a world generous enough to just give that vision to us without movement on our part. no matter how crazy it gets out there, i doubt it’ll ever be that philanthropic.

my heart breaks for every single person that wants different, can see different, and chooses a comfortable misery instead of putting forth a 1% better effort to improve their situation. i think you’re making it harder than it is. i think you think you have to have it perfectly figured out. let me be the one that takes your hand and assures you that you’re sorely mistaken. there’s no demand of perfection, you just have to give, try, believe, and let the discouraging thoughts rattling around in your head take a long walk off a short pier. success isn’t the person who gets it all right on the first try. it’s the person that gets it wrong three or four times, then gets it right, and learns a few good lessons along the way. be willing to be wrong. be willing to screw it up.

every day, there are probably thousands of people looking for ways to change their lives… and too many of them see a possibility and write it off immediately for lack of self belief or faith that there’s any reason any of that would ever come true. maybe i’m making this up, and maybe you actually know the reason, so what is it?

let me tell you about lack of self-belief. lack of self-belief is a girl who at the age of seven was abused by her mother. and that’s just the earliest memories. maybe it was earlier. the divorce happened when she was five. her dad started to see the abuse so he started fighting for custody. you would think that battle would have been kind of cut and dry. it’s a pretty simple story when alcohol is involved. but it wasn’t. not at all. the custody battle went on for five years. five long years. multiple attempts. multiple failures. multiple reasons to believe that maybe this is just “how it is” and reasons to give up completely. but the verdict was finally turned.

lack of self-belief is being kicked out of your house by a mother who’s “done fighting” for you, won’t get sober, and thinks the answer is abandoning ship instead of getting clean. lack of self-belief is believing every single story that a teenager creates about herself in the aftermath of this kind of disaster… who’s even considered ending life altogether… and is somehow still here, for some reason.

you see… i am you. i was you. i’ve wanted to quit more times than i can count. but it’s just ultimately not the answer. it’s not the story. it’s not where this plot twists. there’s more to the story. but i realized that it was absolutely, 100% never going to change unless i did. the legacy didn’t magically change. God literally picked me up with own His holy version of the jaws of life and said, “nope, you can’t have this one.”

so… i don’t say “get up, let’s go,” in vain. i don’t say it from a place of unknowing. i know how it feels. i know what it’s like. i know every debilitating detail of a million pounds of anxiety and depression weighing down on you, convincing you there’s no possibility of movement or improvement. and it’s all a lie. it’s an illusion. and the power you get to walk in when you defy every single negative thought that plagues your brain is absolutely indescribable.

permanent? no. cured? not entirely. but the voices weaken. they quiet. they settle. they lose power. they lose steam. the trick is not giving them the ammo or the focus they’re craving. ever tried not thinking of an apple when someone tells you not to think about an apple? your brain doesn’t work in negatives. this gives you the power. you shift your focus, you shift your energy, and the things that try to hold you down lose their grip on your life.

i could literally write about this for 600 more paragraphs… i won’t do that. just know you’re more powerful than you think. braver than you know. and meant for more than you can imagine.

i’d love to help you if i can. if any of these words are helpful, i’m honored to have written them. maybe there’s a leap you can take that would hold your feet to the fire and start this train moving in the right direction. i’m here for the encouragement, if that’s useful to you. <3 do something. move. you’re not a tree. join me. come be in the spaces i like to hang out that help me keep this kind of belief and fire. dark can’t drive out dark – only light can do that.

when you don’t feel like it

story tiiimmmeeee!!!

i woke up this morning at 6:45am with no alarm. that may not sound that early for some, but that is NOT normal for me. i am not a morning person – i don’t care what you heard. they lied.

honestly, my first thought? go back to bed. but then… i thought to myself… “i think you’re supposed to get up…” so i did.

it was a weird, inconvenient morning… i had a bible study group i had been invited to attend, but the night previous i did that thing where i “loosely commit” (“i’m gonna try and make it in the morning…” so non-committal…) so that i could have an easy out in the morning if i didn’t feel like going… we’ve all done it. c’mon, tell me i’m not the only one.

well. against my better judgment… i decided to just cut the crap, commit, and get my butt in the car. but i wanted to read more. but i wanted to journal more. i wanted to sit around more. i wanted to eat more. but. but. but. and then i got in the car…

as i was driving, i noticed there was an absurd number of cars that were on the shoulder with flat tires… and then immediately realized that was because there was an absolutely absurd number of Car-Sized Potholes waiting to do the same thing to me… i thought to myself, “maybe i should turn around. maybe this isn’t safe. i should just go home… where i can get back in my PJs and scroll the day away…. i mean WORK…. WORK the day away…” (we all know how this trap works…)

but i pressed on. despite my mind’s many attempts to get me to turn around, throw in the towel, and pack it in.

when i got there… i was met with an overwhelming sense of peace that i’m not really sure i can accurately explain. i’m usually not all that comfortable in the middle of a room of people i don’t know, but i sat down and struck up a conversation with a stranger instead. surprised the pants off of myself…

the dialogue that was in this room was nothing short of amazing. within 10 minutes of starting, i felt like i finally understood why pushing through all of my futile excuses and feeble attempts to stay home were worth trampling. THIS. this is what life has for us when we decide to push our boundaries and lean into our discomfort. it’s the goodness. the zest. the juice that is so worth the squeeze. these little nuggets and tidbits that we so easily miss because we “don’t feel like it.”

not only would i have missed some really good biblical inspiration, i would’ve missed the conversations with two of my friends that i don’t see often enough, which were absolutely lined with gold. humans were created for connection. and social media does. not. count, people. so stop it. it’s a cheap alternative. it’s like… the fool’s gold of human connection.

don’t get me wrong. i’m well away that i would’ve gone about my day just fine with or without this women’s group, that’s a definite. but i proved to myself that my own internal resistance was worth pressing into this morning. i showed myself there’s more to life than what i do or don’t feel like doing. there are great things in this life to enjoy if we’ll just lean in a little and take the leap, as mini or mighty as it might feel.

i’d encourage you to take note of your “i don’t feel like it” moments, too. are there things or situations worth pressing into? i truly believe that you may never know why you’re put in certain places – queue all the internal questioning i’ve done lately in my current self-care journey of selling shampoo while clinging to the original “plan” of being a musician – but you guarantee that you’ll never find out if you can’t even push through and show up. the people you could meet, the lessons you could learn, the beautiful accidents you leave space for… the list goes on – and it’s all hinging on whether or not you can get over yourself and lean in.

♥,
SF