self care – Page 2 – Sarah Faith

public humiliation

i don’t know if you saw it at all… there’s been so much to see lately, honestly. too much… not much of it very good… i honestly usually keep my head in the sand on most things… maybe that’s ignorant. but, in this case, as a musician with friends who know i’m a musician, a friend of mine asked me what i thought about this… so i checked it out.

the situation was — and you can google more specific details if you wish, but it’s not my desire to out anyone or add unnecessary drama to an already dramatic situation — a musician / songwriter sang a public national anthem on a large stage, televised in front of the nation and it did not go well. more than not go well, it caused her the next day to post on social media that she had been intoxicated and she was going to check herself into rehab.

when i heard the performance for the first time, it was before she had made such a claim, so the only thoughts i had were, “man, if she has a problem and nobody knew, that’s really sad.” and then, i saw her statement.

following that, there were some claims that it was a technological problem. it happens all the time. but here’s my continued issue with the whole situation.

i should add that i’m speaking from a fair bit of personal experience on this, as i, too, have been in the position of singing a couple of high-exposure anthems, very gratefully so. while in those situations, there has never been a shortage of people asking me if i’m ready, asking if i need anything, asking if i’m ok… there were so. many. people. checking on me, probably honestly making sure i wasn’t going to blow it. making sure my nerves weren’t getting the best of me. maybe thinking to themselves, “man, i don’t know if i could do this, so is she going to be able to?” with the occasional outward warning, “don’t forget the words!”

who was checking on her? who was asking her if she was ok? if she really wasn’t ok and it was that noticeably poor of a performance, i would think that someone would have been able to notice that she wasn’t acting like herself — there were likely signs that this wasn’t going to be the best idea.

i also grew up with an alcoholic. this is the part of my story that really lends a hand to my thoughts on the situation. i could always tell my mom was drinking within seconds. i could call it out plain as day. it took me zero effort to see that she wasn’t herself. and if someone’s issue with alcohol is so serious that they need to call themselves out the next day on social media about their immediate check-in to rehab… i would venture to say it was serious enough to be able to notice.

there’s a lot of hate on the internet these days. far too much. unfortunately, she’s being made to look pretty bad in some corners of this wild wild web. but this is not on her. none of this is on her. her team failed her. and from personal experience, getting upset with someone who struggles with addiction does nothing — you don’t realize the amount of shame they already feel. they certainly don’t need your help.

i hate that this happened. i hate that it keeps happening. i hate that it seems so hard to find a team of people that you can actually trust, that actually have your best interest at heart. the fact of the matter is she hired these people… when a musician or artist hires a team, they’re doing so because they can’t manage their career alone. the scope of responsibilities and tasks that go into a music career are far too heavy for one person to carry. so they hire help. trusted help in a sea full of “helpers” that oftentimes don’t care about anyone but themselves. but i’m sure she thought she had made the right choices. and then this happened.

i’ve let my assessment of the situation reset mostly in the possibility of an addict performing with high stakes that wasn’t protected by her team. then there’s the possibility that her technology failed her.

but my opinion remains the same.

if the technology fails, you don’t go burn your house down by telling people that you’re going to rehab. if the technology fails, no one lets you die on that hill. there’s no reason for someone of high profile to admit they’re going to rehab unless they’re actually going to rehab.

either way, whether a team isn’t paying enough attention to an intoxicated artist about to take the stage or is allowing her to throw herself under the bus to cover for someone’s terrible technological failure, that’s a team that’s not really looking out for the best interest of the artist… and that’s unfortunately the way of the world it seems.

we don’t care enough about each other. we don’t even check in. we’re more concerned with power, ego, self, me, gain, money, and fame to even consider love, kindness, selflessness, or peace. no one is looking at someone about to burn part of her career down and thinking maybe it’s better that we consider a Plan B. or maybe no one truly knew her well enough to be able to decipher the signs? i’m not sure about that… i just find it negligent.

and what about the kids? what about all of our kids watching us adults completely screw this up? they soak up everything like a sponge. they watch every move we make. they imitate, they regurgitate… and they deserve better. they’re watching adults on TV show up this way, and we keep allowing it to happen. it makes me so sad, because i just can’t see the train slowing down or turning around. it’s a complete self-destructive forest fire and we keep pouring more gasoline.

if we want better, we have to be better. think better. act better. speak up better. say something. love better. care better. quit being the center of our own universes. humble up. be willing to look stupid, but not in the humiliating way. be willing to say the hard thing to avoid the bigger tragedy. quit going with the flow when you see the waterfall clearly approaching. the only way the cycle stops is with love.

one of my very favorite quotes of all time is from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.:

anger, hatred, or judgment will never be able to stop things like this from happening. and being a keyboard warrior solves nothing. we’re only going to see benefit or improvement from caring more about each other, putting someone else before ourself, and being walking, talking examples of love.

humility

what is it? how do we do it? can there be too much? yes.

what i’m guilty of thinking humility is – shrinking, taking up less space, not being confident in who i am, saying less, being less present (so i don’t get in the way), being unable to take compliments. among other things. but this is not humility.

i parked at Proverbs this week – Proverbs 22:4 The reward of humility [that is, having a realistic view of one’s importance] and the [reverent, worshipful] fear of the Lord is riches, honor, and life.

some people read something like this and think “all i have to do is shrink and the Lord will bless me with everything i ever wanted.” and to that i say…. good luck.

here’s what i learned + confirmed this week – humility is surrender. humility is wanting my own will less. humility is giving up thinking i had it all figured out. humility is giving without worrying what i’ll be getting because He’s got that part figured out. humility is saying Your ways are higher and better, and i’m going to humbly do whatever i need to in order to let You work through me to accomplish that. on Your time table, not mine. through Your path, not mine. humility is showing up with confidence in the path He has me on with authority, vigor, excitement, and joy. not with quietness, unenthusiastically, or meekness.

i’ve been acting a little too meek sometimes i think. i’ve been acting like i might offend someone if i say the wrong thing. and i probably will if it’s me and my flesh talking. but if i allow Him to work through me, where’s the offense in that? how can i possibly offend someone with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, forgiveness, or self control? what’s offensive about that?

do you find yourself taking humility too far? mine has been borderline deprecating at times, and i think i’ve about had it with that mental pattern. so here’s to showing up LOUD with love and joy and generosity. because those are the things that are going to make this world a better, more beautiful place.

you can start small by smiling at a stranger, or telling someone you love them <3 you may never know how much they needed it.

vision

what’s yours? when you think about the word “vision” what comes to mind? is it a word that excites you or stresses you out?

i’ll be honest, it stresses me out sometimes. and i know exactly why.

i’m an ex-college athlete – i know what it is to set goals and work hard to achieve them. it’s hard wired into my soul. it’s who i am. to my core, i love working hard towards achieving my vision.

but what sucks is when your vision and reality aren’t playing nice together. i sometimes have a hard time liking my vision because it doesn’t feel like it’s coming true. doesn’t feel like it’s gonna be anything more in this lifetime than a nice sounding collection of “hey, wouldn’t that be nice?” fleeting daydreams.

i have a vision board this year – that statement matters because i had never created one until this year. wanna know why? i thought it was stupid. i’m just being really honest. i didn’t see the point. i’ve made magazine collages before and i thought i was above it.

my relationship with my mother? failed. my first marriage? failed. chasing dreams and envisioning things in my life hasn’t seemed to work all that well for me but you know what i’ve learned? if you’re not shooting for anything, not working towards something, you’re just standing still, which is probably the biggest waste of all.

so… yes. in 2024, i decided to have a vision board. and you know what i have to also make sure i’m mentally building into my vision? wiggle room.

make some dang space! leave some room for stuff to not go as planned. heck, leave room for it go sideways, wayward, off track, make no sense, and what i love most is leaving room for it to be BETTER than you could have originally imagined.

i’m guilty of setting a goal and only feeling like i’m successful if that EXACT goal was achieved…. no. i’ve been missing it. that’s not the definition of success. make some space in your vision – leave some room for possibility. and quit thinking you’ve got the best plan in your mind. what if there’s more? what if you’re seeing what’s right in front of your feet correctly with your lantern and what’s up around the corner is about to absolutely blow your mind??

did this meet you where you were today? <3 i sure hope so.

one more thing. and this is SO WEIRRRDDDDDDD!!!!!!! we just did a bathroom remodel… one of my photos on my vision board is of a bathtub with candles to remind me to prioritize self care. that’s been a really huge focus for me this year. here’s the WEIRD PART!!!!!!! the photo looks SO MUCH like the bathtub and bathroom we just created…. and i didn’t even TRY to do that!!! we bought this bath tub because it had the look we wanted and it was on sale… i’m completely serious. DARE TO CREATE THE VISION and then stand back and be amazed at what happens.

the horse just loves to run

i listened to Cody Asbury’s new album in the car this morning and i found myself getting really down with so many of the lyrics but one of them stuck out to me more than others:

“the jockey lives for racing, the horse just loves to run”

you could probably take these words a number of ways, but here’s my interpretation – i get excited about racing just like any human, but what i really wanna be like is the horse. win or lose, i just want to love to run. i want to have my blinders on and be so excited about where i’m going that i don’t have to care about the interpretation of the result. i don’t even have to worry about winning or not because to enjoy the journey is to win. the win or loss is subjective. how can you lose when you’re enjoying where you’re at, blooming where you’re planted? where’s the loss in that?

i don’t even want to worry about the finish line. i just want to be in the moment. running, doing, being, breathing, loving, enjoying, serving, giving – whatever it is that i need to do to run the race right now, that’s what i want to focus on. i’m not worried about the next lap. i’m not even worried about the next turn. i want “step by step” and “little by little” to be my largest concerns.

i think it’s when we are faithful with little that we are trusted with more. i think that we have to do the “little by little” first because running the entire race at once would be entirely overwhelming, not to mention the lack of sense it makes. people, we have to live one moment, one minute at a time, because we literally cannot live in two minutes at once. that’s as “nuts and bolts” as we can get… it can’t be about the next moment until we finish this one. and we also don’t get to be mad at time for passing so quickly if all we’re going to do is wish for the next chapter.

have you ever tried to read the instructions on how to build something or the entire recipe on how to cook something and realize that trying to memorize all the steps 1-10 at once is pretty impossible…? sometimes i get ahead of myself and think that i’m going to be able to follow like… four steps at once. and i’m always wrong. that never works. and the same is true for whatever path we’re on. there’s directions, but sometimes it’s as simple as, “run.” are you looking for something more complicated than that? do you think you need more information than that? sometimes we don’t get more information than that. no further instructions, no reasons why, and it doesn’t make any sense to us.

for example. i fired this blog back up about 12 weeks ago or so… i still don’t know why. you reading this right now is definitely part of the reason, but beyond that, i’m not really sure. maybe it’s not deeper than that. but i keep feeling compelled to write it. so here i am writing. and dang it, i am loving it. if there’s no further purpose, then ok, because the horse just loves to run.

i hope i allow that sentiment to bleed over into whatever i’m doing. and i hope you do to. i hope not everything you do today or this week “needs” a purpose, so to speak. i hope you can find a way to do something just because you love it. just because you’re a human who gets to breathe air into your lungs and do things for the enjoyment of being alive. not because it gains you anything, not because it “moves the needle” or whatever. just because you can. these are little moments in life that i believe we could use a lot more of.

in what ways can you just “love to run” in your life today?

contentment

// con-tent-ment // : (n) the state of being happy or satisfied; the acceptance of things “as they are.”

full disclosure, i struggle on and off with this. i’m feeling moved to write about it, but i myself do wrestle with it.

something about the way society keeps making “more” look like it equates to “better.” something about the way i keep desiring, keep wanting, keep looking, scouting, hoping, wishing… makes it pretty hard to feel content when i can’t seem to keep my eyes from wandering everywhere else but the path in front of me.

i think i’ve also got this silly belief that “contentment” means “giving up” or “losing hope” or “get what you get and don’t throw a fit.”

but i think those definitions are sorely mistaken. that kind of contentment assumes it’s never gonna get any better than this, so you might as well get used to it. which is actually really sad.

i don’t actually want to carry around those lifeless, hopeless definitions of contentment anymore, so i’m going to ~~put~~ keep trying to put them down (and leave them there… because i seem to somehow keep picking them back up…). if you’re feeling yourself carrying anything similar, i invite you to put it down with me. i desire for us to find more mental peace, and the more we keep assuming that we have to strive in order be happy, the less of that peace i believe we’re going to find. we’re also not super likely to find peace in the thoughts that we’re “settling for less” or that we’re “damaged goods” that don’t deserve what we’re dreaming of.

truly, if we’re responsible and content with what we’ve currently got, there’s no reason we wouldn’t in the future be entrusted with more. it’s being content with what i have in the here and now that i know i’ve gotta keep working on. the ability to steward properly the things i’m currently holding in my hand. focusing on my ability to be grateful for all of this good stuff i’m to blessed to have – that’s when the blessings come. the blessings multiply. and i believe a really good first step is contentment in your present circumstances and situation.

sometimes that’s really hard, because sometimes the current stuff we’re going through is just not that pretty. it’s not fun, it’s not easy, and we’re ready to be done with this valley season. to that i say – the valleys mean peaks are on the way. the lows help us appreciate the highs, and there’s still a good amount of contentment to be found in that. even when we don’t feel like smiling. even when the “oh, it’ll be over soon…” is like, the most annoying thing someone could possibly be saying… it’s worth trying to take a second, take a breath, and find a mini moment of contentment. it will pass, and when the next person you know is going through their own personal valley, they’ll have someone to lean on who’s living proof that even the darkest of nights have a glimmer of hope at the end.

i’ll doubly admit – contentment is definitely something i’m always working towards. but. maybe by sharing this, i’ll help you feel less alone if it’s one of your battles too. and i’ll find some accountability partners along the way.

♥, SF

what even is “too much?”

Firing this thing back up. Look out.

I’ve had this thought rolling around in my head lately – “what is ‘too much,’ anyway?”

It’s something i’ve been told many times in my life. It’s something i’ve felt for most of my life. And i’m still not quite sure i know really what it means. And here’s why.

Would we look at a child and say the things they’re interested in are “too much?” would we look them dead in the face when they told us what they wanted to be when they grew up (even if the answer was different from week to week), and tell them “yea, you can’t do that.” i would hope not. So why do we do it to each other (and ourselves) now that we’re grown? Does that really serve us?

I’m coming at this thought after being in my backyard scooping horse crap, as i often do… and thinking to myself, “how on earth does a girl get involved in so many things… and what sense does it make?” my guitar-playing, song-writing, shampoo-selling, clean beauty-caring, bonus-moming, relationship-doing, animal-owning self barely makes sense to myself sometimes, but why is that too much? Why do i feel the urge to make sense of it? Is it not ok to just be as i am?

Why do i worry when i’m making something for our beloved social media, whether or not it’s going to make sense to someone else or whether or not it’s “on brand” enough? Why do i worry and why do i care? And i’m positive i’m not the only one who struggles with this.

We’re in a world where we have to make sense to others, and that’s a problem to me. The only person i really wanna make sure i make sense to is myself and the One that created me. And what kind of daughter would i be if i looked my Father in the eye and said “i think you made me too much… i think i like too many things, and i really think i should tone it down… mostly because of what other people think and say.”

That sounds especially ridiculous when typed out in black and white.

If the fact that i pursue songwriting as a career but also have a passion for clean beauty but also love animals and have a bunch of them (including three farm animals in a subdivision) but also am a bonus mom and also love Jesus and also am pretty vulnerable and about the things that i’ve been through in my life and also have a great relationship to top it all off is too much, well, i guess, as politely as possible…. Go find less…?

Sure, it’s a lot to juggle sometimes, but if i’m being honest, i wouldn’t trade it. And if there’s anything in that list that i’d look at and say, “yea, that’s not worth the time it’s taking up in my life. Not worth the space…” then i guess i’ll cut it. But for now, there’s nothing in there i’d like to go without.

What made us so concerned with the portrayal of ourselves we put out into the world, anyway? Why do we even have this “instagram vs. reality” thing? Why do we spend so much time curating, perfecting, beautifying? And who says it has to be so unilateral? Or else it might “confuse” people… and you “can’t be successful” if you’re too confusing… if it’s wrong to have a rich life full of many beautiful things, then screw it, i don’t wanna be right. And that’s my final answer.

Last time i checked, no one got mad at Instagram for starting off as a photo-sharing platform and now being a full blown video editing software. No one is upset that TikTok started out as a place where dancing videos were your ticket to fame but now it’s a glorified child of Amazon. We just go along with it and figure it out, glitches and all (am i right??). Things ebb and flow and change all the dang time. Things start out as one thing and morph into another, they add, they progress, they diversify. So why are we so reluctant, even scared, to do that for ourselves? Why is it seen as a weakness to be interested, involved, or good at “too many” things?

Frankly, I’m over it. I’ve wrestled with the thought too many times for too long. I’ve wasted too many minutes trying to figure out how to present myself in a way that makes sense to y’all. So here it is in a nutshell. For today anyway. Until i add or subtract something.

Hello, i’m Sarah. I’m a musician, mainly songwriter and guitar player, and i write songs about my life – both the wins and the losses. Because of this journey i’ve been on, I care a little extra about my health, both mental and physical, and i think there’s a lot we can do for ourselves in those departments to make sure we’re setting ourselves up for success. I’m a big fan of my family, a lot of my family has fur and four legs, but i’m especially grateful for the humans. I’ve got a relationship that’s much more than i deserve and two (bonus) kids i never thought i’d have.

Yep, it’s a lot. But it’s a lot to be grateful for. I guess it’s a little like my liberal arts education…. Well-rounded.

photo credit: the incomparable Alisa Thayne <3

dear self,

October 7, 2020 by Sarah Faith

blog posts.

choose your legacy, meaningful music, mental health, mindset, mindset work, self care, self empowerment, self help, self love, self talk

the first letter to me, from me.

you know, it’s ok to not be ok. we’re all humans and sometimes we just have days when we’re not 100%. you don’t have to beat yourself up about it.

you don’t have to take everyone else’s opinion so seriously. shit, you don’t owe a single second to their opinion if it doesn’t serve you. none of this is really up to them anyway.

maybe it would be fun to try thinking for one whole day that you were a fucking epic creation. maybe it wouldn’t feel like you were being cocky or self-centered. maybe it would feel like you were just actually being yourself for once. beautiful, loud, outlandish, creative, vibrant, a little crazy, full of joy and energy, just the way you were created to be. just a thought.

you’re going to make it. even if you were stranded in the middle of nowhere with nothing left to your name but the shirt on your back and the shoes on your feet, you would figure out how to make it. what are you afraid of?

just because it doesn’t work out just like you think it should, doesn’t mean it’s not working. don’t you think it’s a little small minded to think that you have the master plan anyway? the master plan is controlled by someone much higher than you – no offense. you probably don’t want it to work out the way you planned anyway – there are much greater things in store. things you can’t even imagine. outcomes you never considered.

your dreams and aspirations are far from stupid, far from impossible, far from worthless. whatever visions were put in your head and heart are For you – chase them.

think back to a time when you were So Full of Joy, you could hardly contain yourself. do more of that.

resting isn’t for lazy people. it’s for smart people. running yourself to the ground seems like a great thing to do, until you’re actually in the ground, unable to move, unable to dream, unable to chase because you ran too hard. it’s a marathon; not a sprint.

there are trees, and rivers, and mountains, and sunrises, and sunsets, and oceans, and animals, and canyons, and a thousand other amazingly beautiful things in this earth. the same Creator that made all of that… also made You. don’t sell yourself short. you were made to fly and shine and be. you were made for this. whatever your “this” is…. whatever makes you feel like you’re the best version of yourself. that’s who you were created to be. don’t you dare put yourself in a small box. don’t you dare be afraid to take up all your space in this world. you’re the only you this planet has ever and will ever have.

♥,

SF

another [quarantined] thursday.

April 23, 2020 by Sarah Faith

blog posts., news

facebook live, instagram live, meaningful music, mental health, mindset, mindset work, negative thoughts, peeling back the layers, positive outlook, purpose driven, quarantine, self care, self talk

i put jeans on today (yes, you read that correctly…). i’m wearing a “real” shirt (classified as one that i wouldn’t usually sleep in, or let an animal sleep on). also, big winner here, i’m wearing makeup. imagine that! weird how this “put together” state i’m in happens rarely when i’ve got nowhere to go. does going to the kitchen for numerous snacks count…?

no, but really. i do go to the kitchen a lot….

great segue…. wanna know another place i’ve been going a lot this week? mentally down a rabbit hole. not always a negative rabbit hole…. so maybe that’s not the right word, but i’ve honestly felt like i’ve been on a roller coaster of thoughts. i wake up one day and i’m like “Wooo!!! i’m killing it!! this day is going to be great!!” and the next (sometimes the next hour… or minute), i’m like “shit. what the hell. this is awful. where is this even going? you’re not doing nearly enough.” anyone else? it’s like being on a pirate’s ship in the movies in the middle of one of those stupid storms with waves about 3x as tall as the ship you’re on, but then in the morning, some 3 hours later, having the brightest, most beautiful sunshine imaginable. that’s what this week has felt like.

if you’re with me, or you know what i’m talking about, can i get a “retweet” or a hand raised or head nod or whatever….. thank you very much!!!

*deep breath* (feel free to take one with me…) sometimes the only thing i can do in a weird moment like that is just breathe. because i know it’s just a season. a possibly one minute-long season. and in one of my conversations this week, a friend of mine told me, “you’ll only fail if you quit. and Sarah, you are so crystal clear on your purpose and your why, i know you won’t quit. so that means you won’t fail.” Ay. Freaking. Men. that’s it right there. (also, contemplating getting that tattooed some place. forehead would probably be best….thoughts…?)

that’s the truth though – i know that i’m not the only one who sometimes feels a little stuck or like things aren’t going like they should. things sometimes don’t feel like they’re “going how they should” but honestly, if you take the 30,000 foot view, everything’s just as it should be. it may mean a bit of a rainy season every now and then, but honestly, there have been some STORMS… and i mean…. tornado hurricane monsoon typhoon earthquake all at once, how am i getting out of this alive S T O R M S …. but i’m still standing. and sometimes my mind is full of overwhelm and doubt and fear and every other thing that makes me just want to cry. and then the storm passes. and the sun comes out. and i’m better for it.

just something to consider – what if we could take deep breaths and assure ourselves that sunshine is always in the forecast? maybe that would make stormy times easier to handle. *shrug* just a thought!

anyway, i’ll be using this message as fuel tonight (Thursday nights!!!) on my Instagram + Facebook LIVE “Peeling Back the Layers” Episode TWO!!!!! second week in a row, so stoked. hoping to get a few more viewers than last week, and i think it’s going to be a good time!! 8pm cdt // 9pm est. Instagram doesn’t have a live link, but Facebook does!! –> www.Facebook.com/sarahfaithmusic/live <– click there!!! see ya tonight!!

♥ SF

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