confidence – Sarah Faith

why you have to do the thing

no one likes to be told what to do, but i’m telling you… you have to do the thing.

you know… that thing that won’t leave you alone. that thing that when you think about doing it, you get all sweaty and light up a little but then tell yourself all the 100 made up reasons in your head that you can’t do it, shouldn’t do it, everyone will make fun of you for it, etc.

i can rattle off all of these because i’ve said them to myself hundreds of times… but the fact still remains… you have to do the thing. because it’s not going to just magically leave you alone. it’s going to keep annoying the crap out of you until you get over the fear and take the leap.

here’s the thing you don’t understand about it… you don’t have to know why. you don’t have to know where it’s going. you don’t have to know what it looks like. you have to trust that the Author of this whole thing knows better than you do… but He can’t steer a parked car. so what you’re gonna have to first is move…

it doesn’t have to look good. it doesn’t have to be perfect. you don’t have to be ready. none of those things are qualifications for moving… you simply need to move.

do the thing. do it messy. scared. fearful. confused. doubts intact. feeling like you’re not good enough or cool enough or smart enough… whatever. your action will put all of those lies to bed. because this thing has been pestering you for so long, there are things that are bursting at the seams to happen…. waiting for you to just do one simple stupid little movement. then all the next steps can finally start falling into place… i bet they won’t wait long. they’re tired of waiting on you.

i do this with music still sometimes. i do this with my business. social media. whatever. i’ll be dreaming of something in a very “wouldn’t that be cool” kind of way, but before i can even get the good thoughts out of my brain, here comes Mrs Doubt throwing fire all over my dreams, convincing me to turn around and not take the action.

then i try to convince myself that i don’t know what to do. Chief Lie of All The Lies, right there. i always at least know of one small thing that i can do that moves the needle. we’re not looking for home runs here… although i’m pretty good at convincing myself that it’s a home run or bust… that’s just my competitive nature. you just have to move the needle. you just have to breathe a little life on the thing and the next steps will almost take care of themselves.

last thing that’s required is patience… but still taking action while practicing patience. sometimes the waiting is the hardest part, just like Tom Petty always told us, but the last thing you actually want to do is sit on your hands in these moments. an object in motion stays in motion and an object at rest stays at rest. if you had momentum going a little, don’t kill it. it took you long enough to move in the first place. don’t quit.

i’m telling you, even if the next action you see in your mind doesn’t seem to make sense, take it and find out. if it’s not 100 percent amazingly spot on, at least you’re still in motion and can pivot. isn’t it easier to turn something that’s already moving than something that’s completely sitting still? haven’t we been over this…?

anyway… these were just some quick thoughts i wanted to jot down and hit “send” before i forgot about them. i’m not ever writing these things with extra status of having figured anything out. these are always things i’m learning too. same as you. i’m just typing it instead of keeping it in my brain.

hope you’re having the best day, week, and month you could possibly be having.

♥, SF

my first trip as “mom”

….and how it all made me feel….

at this point, Matthew and i have only been married a couple months, but we’ve been together for almost three years. at no point have i ever not treated the kids as my own – probably quite literally since the day i met them. i don’t have bio kids, so i’m grateful every day the Lord thought that i’d be a good fit for this family as their bonus mom and Matthew’s other parenting half in this house.

i don’t typically think too deeply into the whole “mom” thing with them – i’m just Sarah, and i’m the motherly figure in this household when they’re with us. but when you’re on a trip with your family, especially when we all have the same last name, i’m “mom” to most people that we’re interacting with. mostly strangers we’ll never see again, but as someone who knows i’m actually not mom despite how it looks, it does come with feelings. for whatever reason…

on one airplane, someone actually made the comment that they look just like me. i told her thank you for being so kind, but they’re not truly mine. “i’m just bonus mom,” i said.

to me, it felt like a compliment. not something she should’ve apologized for, which she did… but i love being part of this family. i love helping raise these kids. i love being Matthew’s wife. i love it more than anything, if i’m being completely honest. more than i ever imagined possible.

i loved being on vacation with them this week. i loved seeing them joyful and excited and experiencing a bunch of new things, running around in a completely new place, smiling so big, their little faces couldn’t possibly hold any more happy!!

say what you want, but i love being their mom, even if i’m not their “real mom” or whatever. i know i didn’t birth them, but i think being a mom is an attitude and a stance you take. it’s a behavior. it’s a mindset. it’s a willingness to step in and fill a pair of shoes i never expected to wear, but ones i hope i’m wearing as gracefully, lovingly, and responsibly as i possibly can. and wanna know what i really hope? i hope that if there are any other bonus moms reading this right now that you’ll stop writing yourself off as “second best.”

i’m guilty of it myself – the lady on the airplane says the kids look like me and i’m like “yea, i’m just bonus mom.” anyone says “mom”-anything and i’m in my head telling myself “fake mom.” we are not fake moms!! we’re not second best. it’s not a competition. and if you’re running it like it is, you’re missing the point. these kids don’t need me to compete for anything with them. it would probably confuse them if that were the case. i’m just me, and there’s not another me on the planet. there’s not another set of kids on this planet i’ll ever get to parent. so whether i’m a real mom, fake mom, bonus mom, mean mom, weird mom, cool mom… and whether they ever utter that specific word to me or about me… is none of my concern. the qualifications and categories do nothing for me.

ya know, here’s the hard truth. plenty of kids have estranged relationships with their bio mom. i was one of them. the “bio” part is not the focal point. the love is. the priorities are. the relationship is. i’ve learned it so many times in my life through my own experiences – sometimes blood is just a word. and it’s hard to say this, but it’s the real truth. i’ve got the kind of life and family money can’t buy. and no, i didn’t physically birth my kids, but i’ll always teach them, discipline them, care for them, and love them as if they were my own.

it wasn’t a hard choice. it’s not about right or wrong. i didn’t lose anything when i gained kids. i feel like i hit the dang lottery, are you kidding? but for real, we gotta stop allowing ourselves to consider ourself as less than, because we’re not. and furthermore, that doesn’t even really exist. there’s no “mom hierarchy” or whatever. the privilege of being their mom will never be lost on me, and it’s a role i’m absolutely honored to fill. <3

peace + fire

June 12, 2024 by Sarah Faith

blog posts.

christian, christian blog, christian life, confidence, confidence building, how to live a peaceful life, mental peace strategies, Mindful self-acceptance, mindfulness practices, mindset, mindset work

i had a friend ask me this week, “can we talk more about how to keep your peace intact when people in your circle insist on throwing fire?”

Say. Less.

YES. we can. matter of fact, let’s talk about that time a few years back when three of my family members died within 18 months, i was the executor of all of their estates by THEIR choice, NOT mine, and my entire family hated me for it. that was a good time.

there is NOT ONE THING on this Earth you can call me or say about me that i haven’t been called. by my own “family.” the people that are “supposed” to have our backs no matter what…. that’s just not how it works sometimes unfortunately. i definitely know that feeling.

that experience taught me exACTly how to deal with peace in the fire. and it had nothing to do with throwing more fire in their direction. that does not even the scale. that does not level the field. for every comeback i wanted to say, i’m sure they had another insult waiting. that’s how evil works. that’s the plan – destroy, destruct, at all costs, nothing held back.

you cannot tip the scale back in balance by meeting darkness with more darkness. you have to put your own desires aside, die to your pride, and meet it with light. you cannot grow, prosper, or thrive if you’re convinced it’s your job to make it right. you are never going to make it right – they’re hellbent on seeing you in a certain light, their words are drenched in lies, and there’s no amount of proving yourself that’s ever going to really change their mind. it’s sad, but it’s true.

light cancels out dark. love cancels out hate. when their actions don’t get a reaction, eventually, they have nothing left to say. they have no actions to spin off of if you give them nothing. and that’s been one of the hardest lessons i’ve ever had to learn. but it has paid MASSIVE dividends. so i challenge you – blow their minds!! meet their evil with love. meet their insults with kindness. be slow to react and let your heart know that whatever they’re saying is meant to get under your skin. it’s not truth. it’s provoking and intended to get a rise out of you.

you will never know what’s going on inside of someone else when they choose hate, but i can almost guarantee it’s not your fault. it’s much deeper than that. those tendencies have nothing to do with you – that’s just how they show up in the world. and it’s sad, because they have access to the same light, love, and joy that you and i have, but they’re just stuck in a vicious cycle of self-righteousness and hatred.

the only thing to do is give it up. release it. don’t hold on to it – again, it’s not the truth. it’s a bunch of lies, so free yourself from them. look up and know that God knows the truth and has the final say. no perfectly curated response you create will trump that, ever. it’s not our job. it’s not your assignment to deliver the justice. you’ll drive yourself crazy trying.

where in your life can you create more peace for yourself by giving up the need to balance the scale? what have you been holding on to that’s not your job to fix?

love y’all. i hope this helped you today <3

vision

what’s yours? when you think about the word “vision” what comes to mind? is it a word that excites you or stresses you out?

i’ll be honest, it stresses me out sometimes. and i know exactly why.

i’m an ex-college athlete – i know what it is to set goals and work hard to achieve them. it’s hard wired into my soul. it’s who i am. to my core, i love working hard towards achieving my vision.

but what sucks is when your vision and reality aren’t playing nice together. i sometimes have a hard time liking my vision because it doesn’t feel like it’s coming true. doesn’t feel like it’s gonna be anything more in this lifetime than a nice sounding collection of “hey, wouldn’t that be nice?” fleeting daydreams.

i have a vision board this year – that statement matters because i had never created one until this year. wanna know why? i thought it was stupid. i’m just being really honest. i didn’t see the point. i’ve made magazine collages before and i thought i was above it.

my relationship with my mother? failed. my first marriage? failed. chasing dreams and envisioning things in my life hasn’t seemed to work all that well for me but you know what i’ve learned? if you’re not shooting for anything, not working towards something, you’re just standing still, which is probably the biggest waste of all.

so… yes. in 2024, i decided to have a vision board. and you know what i have to also make sure i’m mentally building into my vision? wiggle room.

make some dang space! leave some room for stuff to not go as planned. heck, leave room for it go sideways, wayward, off track, make no sense, and what i love most is leaving room for it to be BETTER than you could have originally imagined.

i’m guilty of setting a goal and only feeling like i’m successful if that EXACT goal was achieved…. no. i’ve been missing it. that’s not the definition of success. make some space in your vision – leave some room for possibility. and quit thinking you’ve got the best plan in your mind. what if there’s more? what if you’re seeing what’s right in front of your feet correctly with your lantern and what’s up around the corner is about to absolutely blow your mind??

did this meet you where you were today? <3 i sure hope so.

one more thing. and this is SO WEIRRRDDDDDDD!!!!!!! we just did a bathroom remodel… one of my photos on my vision board is of a bathtub with candles to remind me to prioritize self care. that’s been a really huge focus for me this year. here’s the WEIRD PART!!!!!!! the photo looks SO MUCH like the bathtub and bathroom we just created…. and i didn’t even TRY to do that!!! we bought this bath tub because it had the look we wanted and it was on sale… i’m completely serious. DARE TO CREATE THE VISION and then stand back and be amazed at what happens.

retaliation

May 5, 2024 by Sarah Faith

blog posts., Uncategorized

confidence, confidence building, how to live a peaceful life, mental health, mental health blog, mental health for women, Mental health tips for musicians, mental peace strategies, mindset

i’m not sure if you know this about me but i was a collegiate athlete. don’t go Googling my stats or whatever – it’s nothing impressive, but i played soccer for a huge chunk of my life. freaking love that game.

wanna know one of the biggest life lessons i learned from that game? here it is…

usually the person who gets in trouble isn’t the initial offender. it’s the one who retaliates. it’s the one who lets their anger get the best of them and lashes out. they get the call. they get caught. they do the time.

i’ve had my share of times on both sides of that coin. i’ve been the girl committing the fouls that doesn’t get caught. i’ve been the girl who’s so irritated with someone’s repeated lashings that i return the favor. so i definitely know from experience… i’ve been caught WAY more times in the latter than the former. it’s not the instigator that collects the cards on the field, and i’ll be danged if that’s not the case in life as well.

now…. i’m just gonna be honest for a second – doesn’t that just tick you off?!?! because i know it does me. sometimes i’m so convinced that i need to serve justice that i’m about one breath away from giving someone all of the pieces of my mind. not just one of them. but that ain’t it, people.

it’s hard. it’s like one of the hardest things i’ve ever tried to learn how to do. but it’s a necessary skill. people are wild. people are delusional. they’re entitled. their opinions and ways of life are vastly different than our own. and they’re pretty good at telling you allllll about it. they think they know you when they don’t have a clue. whatever the case may be… they’re digging their own graves just fine without our help.

i learned a long time ago, too, from all of my dealings with my mother and her addictions – you will never be able to reason with unreasonable people. it just never sinks in. their thought patterns don’t fire on the same cylinders, they can’t see the same reality, and their glasses are always a deluded shade of rose. they see things in their own way and there’s really nothing we can do to change that. besides not retaliate. that’s the main goal – whatever you do…. don’t. retaliate.

what dirt does someone really have on a non-reactionary human? unless they make it up entirely, the correct answer should be none. i mean, sure, some people have made some lies up about me, but that’s on them. i know it’s not the truth – therefore, they have nothing on me. go ahead and fabricate all you want, but you’re not going to take some reaction i say out of context and paint me in any one-sided light…. because there’s no reaction. there’s nothing to judge. there’s nothing to twist.

at the end of the day we’re all just people doing the best we can. i truly believe that. it’s tempting to think otherwise because it’s such a wild world, but we’re all troubled in our own regard i guess. some more than others, and i’m certainly not the least of the bunch.

here’s my challenge to you this week – when you’re tempted to react… don’t. in traffic. in the parking lot. when someone says something you can’t stand. just… don’t. honestly, i’m telling you – this is just like the point of forgiveness… it’s more for you than for them. protecting our own mental space is the only thing we really have control over, and you’ll be doing yourself a HUGE favor if you can just…. leave it. let it be. let them do whatever, say whatever, be whatever and just… don’t. <3

the horse just loves to run

i listened to Cody Asbury’s new album in the car this morning and i found myself getting really down with so many of the lyrics but one of them stuck out to me more than others:

“the jockey lives for racing, the horse just loves to run”

you could probably take these words a number of ways, but here’s my interpretation – i get excited about racing just like any human, but what i really wanna be like is the horse. win or lose, i just want to love to run. i want to have my blinders on and be so excited about where i’m going that i don’t have to care about the interpretation of the result. i don’t even have to worry about winning or not because to enjoy the journey is to win. the win or loss is subjective. how can you lose when you’re enjoying where you’re at, blooming where you’re planted? where’s the loss in that?

i don’t even want to worry about the finish line. i just want to be in the moment. running, doing, being, breathing, loving, enjoying, serving, giving – whatever it is that i need to do to run the race right now, that’s what i want to focus on. i’m not worried about the next lap. i’m not even worried about the next turn. i want “step by step” and “little by little” to be my largest concerns.

i think it’s when we are faithful with little that we are trusted with more. i think that we have to do the “little by little” first because running the entire race at once would be entirely overwhelming, not to mention the lack of sense it makes. people, we have to live one moment, one minute at a time, because we literally cannot live in two minutes at once. that’s as “nuts and bolts” as we can get… it can’t be about the next moment until we finish this one. and we also don’t get to be mad at time for passing so quickly if all we’re going to do is wish for the next chapter.

have you ever tried to read the instructions on how to build something or the entire recipe on how to cook something and realize that trying to memorize all the steps 1-10 at once is pretty impossible…? sometimes i get ahead of myself and think that i’m going to be able to follow like… four steps at once. and i’m always wrong. that never works. and the same is true for whatever path we’re on. there’s directions, but sometimes it’s as simple as, “run.” are you looking for something more complicated than that? do you think you need more information than that? sometimes we don’t get more information than that. no further instructions, no reasons why, and it doesn’t make any sense to us.

for example. i fired this blog back up about 12 weeks ago or so… i still don’t know why. you reading this right now is definitely part of the reason, but beyond that, i’m not really sure. maybe it’s not deeper than that. but i keep feeling compelled to write it. so here i am writing. and dang it, i am loving it. if there’s no further purpose, then ok, because the horse just loves to run.

i hope i allow that sentiment to bleed over into whatever i’m doing. and i hope you do to. i hope not everything you do today or this week “needs” a purpose, so to speak. i hope you can find a way to do something just because you love it. just because you’re a human who gets to breathe air into your lungs and do things for the enjoyment of being alive. not because it gains you anything, not because it “moves the needle” or whatever. just because you can. these are little moments in life that i believe we could use a lot more of.

in what ways can you just “love to run” in your life today?

in your gut

you know how there’s just some things you feel in your gut? sometimes you don’t really have the words to explain it, you wouldn’t know how to articulate it if you tried – you just know. you don’t even really know how you know or why you know. you just do.

and when you go against your gut and find out you were right in the first place, you feel like you should have trusted yourself all along. on the flipside, when you stick to your guns and keep going in the direction you know is right, popular or not, and it pays off, there’s this unbelievable sense of “gosh, i just knew it all along…”

there’s a ton of confidence to be built here. but you have to be careful. because the mind is a tricky beast. it’ll tell you you’re right to the end of this earth, but that doesn’t make it so. my favorite is when my brain tells me i “deserve” this or “deserve” to feel this way – that should be a red flag. well-grounded desires are not founded on whether or not we “deserve” this or that – that’s just our own ego and self-righteous nature.

i just gotta make a note here. because i heard something in a conversation yesterday with a friend and it was spot on – there’s a point in your conscience where you’re asked to delineate between what’s “right” and what’s “almost right.” there’s a ton of character to be built here. a lot of times what seems “almost right” is really just self-seeking and ultimately “pretty good” but maybe not great. those things you “wish you could have,” or those shoes you probably shouldn’t buy, but you justify anyway. that’s not the “go with your gut” i’m talking about. there’s nothing to be built from consistently choosing what’s “almost right.” there’s nothing to be gained from choosing the path you claim is being paved for you, when it’s really just what’s most convenient for you. the path where we see that we stand to gain the most isn’t always the right choice. that’s just us being humans, being solely concerned with controlling our circumstances, keeping up with the Joneses, looking for ways to obtain the shiny things.

you know you’re getting in your own way when you need your side of the story. you know you’re straying from center when there’s a “version” – there is no “my truth” – there’s just… truth. period.

a big part of anything you could call “confidence” in me is because of trusting my gut, if that’s what you want to call it. not always trusting “the best outcome for me,” or “where i gain the most.” but what’s really right… morally, ethically, etc. too often what we “wish” was right and what’s actually right are two different things. i don’t call it gut or intuition or any of that really – i know what’s leading me. or more importantly Who is leading me. and it really takes that whole mystery aspect out of the gut instinct altogether. does this “gut feeling” ultimately benefit me the most? am i twisting things to make it look like the best option? the “right” path isn’t going to have you acting in any other way besides 100% truthful, with nothing to prove and nothing to explain for ourselves. it doesn’t involve throwing anyone under the bus. you’ll never have to make someone look bad so you look better. it doesn’t require us to go above and beyond and make sure people know our side, and it doesn’t require some gray area justification or interpretation of the rules.

you know. you’ll always know. you can feel it. when something isn’t quite right about something or someone, you just know. when you’re justifying your “left of center” temptation to yourself, you just know. there are people that i can sit with and wonder why i have this unexplainable palpitation in my chest, and not in a good way. these are not people i try to spend a whole lot of time around – i try to avoid it altogether if i can. my spirit knows, and i bet yours does too.

i’m not sure if this is resonating with anyone today, but i sure hope it is. you need to know the power you have in your own body, mind, and the directions you’re being nudged. the appeal of what you want to happen may be great, but the reality of what you need and the feeling of keeping your conscience clean is greater. you need to know that you’re smarter, more capable, more aware than you think. trust yourself. trust that inner voice. sometimes something can be “marketing” as one thing, but it’s not really that hard to see through the crap when you trust yourself.

there’s probably a lot more you’re doing right than you’re giving yourself credit for if you’re operating in your life with a good, clean heart and honest intentions – not the ones that seek ways to serve yourself first above all else. that’s why when something seems a little “off” about someone, you feel it in your chest. that’s why no matter how hard you try to fight it, at the end of the day, your inner being just knows that it’s not going to work. you also need to know it’s not your job to make it work. it’s not your job to expose, prove, call out, change, fix, or power through. you’re not responsible for that. that’s called boundaries, and there’s a ton of confidence to be built there, too.

boundaries help us keep our own lawn clean. we don’t have control over too many things in this world, but we do have a good bit of government over our “space.” our “bubble” so to speak is completely under our jurisdiction. who comes in, who stays, for how long, what we allow to change our atmosphere – we get to call the shots on these things, and when we do a crappy job of governing our own space, our spirit knows it. i’m guilty of trying to be a peacemaker and letting my boundaries slack so someone else’s feelings don’t get hurt. wanna know who always ends up with the short end of that stick? me. every single time. and i’ve learned that it’s really not worth it. when someone shows you who they really are, believe them the first time. but don’t be afraid to put your own judgments on trial, too – because SHOCKER – sometimes your conscience is WRONG!!! sometimes it falls into that “almost right” category – examine it! test it!

at the end of the day it’s really not worth trying to appease someone else at my own expense. and it’s not “unChristian” to act this way. protecting our own space is one of the best things we can do because it allows us to be mentally available for the things we’re actually responsible for instead of cleaning up the mess someone else came in and crapped all over our floor.

three things i wanna leave you with in this post – trust your gut, challenge your selfish human nature, and work on building stronger boundaries. i’d love to know your thoughts about how you think these things might impact your mental space. do you need to make improvements in these areas?

yea, but…..

September 18, 2020 by Sarah Faith

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americana music, confidence, country music, female musician, meaningful music, music for healing, music with purpose, musician, nashville musician, new music, original music, sarah faith music, songwriter, vulnerability

just saying… i’m trying like hell to cut this phrase out of my vocabulary. the “yea but”s are gonna keep you from doing the things you’re put here to do. i don’t know a single person who has time for that.

i cannot count how many times i’ve been talking to someone and either i’ll suggest something to them that would be TOTALLY AWESOME, or they suggest something to me that would be SUPER AMAZING, and both of us kill the idea with a “yea, but….” a situation comes to mind where a friend of mine just wasn’t pumped with how things were going, and i simply presented the possibility of a change and i got a bunch of “yea, but”s in return. “yea, but i need the money. yea, but i don’t know where to start. yea, but it’s scary. yea, but what if it fails.?”

those are just a few that popped into mind immediately. they came up pretty fast actually because my “yea, but” muscle is a pretty dang strong one. the only thing is… my “let’s do it anyway” muscle is stronger.

i caught myself just this week – i was trying to make a decision and i heard my mind coming up with all of these “yea, but”s – a bunch of BS, fear-filled worries, really. i know that when they’re all rooted in fear, their credibility isn’t that great. so… i’m writing this as a notice that “yea but”s don’t rule my life, and they shouldn’t have a say in yours either!

here’s another example – i’ve been in way too many relationships where “yea, but”s steered me wrong. i should have left long before i did, but i kept thinking, “yea, but what if i’m wrong? yea, but what if he can change? yea, but i’m not perfect either. yea, but just one more chance.” and each and every last one of those statements kept me in a toxic relationship that wasn’t serving me or helping me become my best self. i’m thankful to have learned the lessons, but i’m not gonna keep learning them the hard way, and i’m not gonna keep wasting time on “yea, but”s.

if we only get a certain number of times around the sun, and we don’t have knowledge of what that magic number is, i think we owe it to ourselves not to waste it on “yea, but”s. personally, i’d rather spend time finding out if the fears are legitimate than living paralyzed, never able to learn anything at all. if you choose a direction, you can always change it or pivot it or shift it or whatever. if you choose to do nothing, and are terrified of the fork in the road, well, a stopped car doesn’t usually have much direction or make much progress.

it’s all our choice, though. we get to Choose!! this is all why #ChooseYourLegacy means so much to me – it makes me So So sad to see people stopped dead in their tracks because of all these “yea, but” statements they can’t get off their mind. i’ll boldly state that i am Choosing not to let “yea, but”s rule my life. i would love to know what obstacles you’re facing that need to have their power taken away!

♥,
SF