me vs. me
i looked at the calendar this week and was shocked that it was the end of November already. i’m not sure how we got here… so close to 2025, yet still so many things i feel like i’d still love to accomplish this year.
maybe that’s you as well. maybe it’s been a long year, one that you can look back on and see that while a LOT of things happened, there’s still things left to tackle. and man, i really want to blame the circumstances. but i know that’s not really fair. or even true.
this isn’t the first time i’ve felt like this, and it probably won’t be the last. because the true issue is that it’s me vs. me. i’m the one that got in the way often times. i’ve got so many dreams, so many aspirations, so much drive… and sometimes, at the end of the day, i can honestly say that i’m not sure how to reach them because of two things: 1. i’m relying on myself, my own strength, and my own ideas too much and 2. i’m trusting in the actual possibility of these things happening too little.
bold statement: overthinking will kill your dreams. it will kill your motivation. it will just suck every ounce of energy you have if you let it. this is probably another one of my biggest opportunities for growth, although i will say that i’ve proven to myself time and time again that action is the way over this hurdle. even if it’s messy. even if it doesn’t make sense. there’s a certain kind of “magic” that happens when you’re putting energy out… it comes back around. stagnation breeds more stagnation, but action shakes things up. it’s like this saying that i’ve heard that has stuck with me for a couple years now: “God can’t steer a parked car.” there’s no specific direction in that statement. you just have to move. He can help you with the rest, but you do have to take some action. i do need to get out of my own head long enough to take a step forward. there’s always room to take a step sideways if you need to redirect, but if laws of inertia are true, motion is the first order of business. an object at rest will remain at rest.
maybe you’ve been here a while and you’ve heard me talking about self-care. this is another reason i think self-care is so dang important. especially this time of year. sometimes it may not connect that it has anything to do with anything else, but it DOES. you’re in motion. you’re moving. you’re thinking. you’re giving yourself space. doing a hair treatment or a skincare routine isn’t just about how my hair or skin look. it’s about my thoughts and giving myself that time to create space in there. this brain is so jam packed full of so much stuff on any given day, it’s like a dang circus. i need a minute to calm the monkeys and put out the fires. there’s magic to be found in that space! but you can’t get the space if you don’t make it. it’s too busy and crazy and chaotic of a life. and i don’t even have kids in this house all the time! so i really don’t know how the rest of you normal people do it.
easy things that help me create space:
- gratitude + bible time in the morning
- double washing my hair in the shower
- morning and evening skincare routine
- going for a walk
- getting dressed in something i’d like to wear
- taking a few extra minutes to fix my hair
- turning on worship music
things that DO NOT CREATE SPACE
- doing more things than i have the capacity for
- scrolling more
- thinking that the anxiety goes away by continuing to take on more
- convincing myself there’s no time to take even 5 deep breaths
- hyper focusing on my to-do list
- equating my to-do list with success
notice how the things that create space are not really related to what we consider “progress” at all. they’re separate. they’re different. they’re kind of not even in the same neighborhood. but your brain needs it. trust me. your body needs it. trust me. it’s not the to-do list that’s going to give you peace. ever. i love getting things done, but not at the expense of my mood and physical well-being. though sometimes i forget this and work myself silly anyway… i’m working on this, too.
i guess what i’m saying is… taking these last 45 days of the year to put yourself on blast and guilt trip yourself for your failures isn’t going to create any kind of last minute progress. i don’t feel anyway… it’s certainly not a recipe for propelling you into a better 2025. what i would do is take some small actions day by day that get you in motion. i broke some promises to myself this year, too. some feel in my control, and some don’t. either way, all i can do is create the space and get the car moving. once there’s space to actually think, i think the direction becomes a lot clearer and kind of starts to take shape on its own.
i just gotta move first. because when i’m stagnant, it’s me vs. me.