i’d described the space i’m in this morning as kinda… “blah.” sort of existing, i’ve got a list of a couple things that i’ll probably get done at some point today, but i can’t say i feel particularly like “attacking” this day. urgency? not a thing today…. much more tortoise than hare.
i’ve been here before. many times. as someone who’s battled anxiety and depression what feels like my entire life and continues to do so (*though the battle does get easier, Thank. The. Lord.*), it’s just not rare for me to feel this way. in this space, sometimes i start wondering what it’s all for. i feel myself feeling a bit…. pointless or hopeless…. not to be a complete Debbie Downer or anything! there is a point to this.
honestly, if not for the imperfect days, how in the hell would i have such a GIGANTIC appreciation for the days that totally kick ass? i’m pushing myself to realize that the highs aren’t nearly as cool if you’re walking around like every day is the best day on Earth. you can’t be at 150% all the damn time. you just can’t. or at least i can’t…. so why would i pretend like i am or that i can??
am i going to sit around today and get nothing done? well, that’s just not me, regardless of how sloth-like i feel. i’ll get some stuff done. that’s for sure. but i’m not going to lie to you and say i feel Super Motivated to do ALL THE THINGS OMG!!! i’m really comfy in this blanket right now, and the last thing i feel like doing is looking presentable. honestly, could not care less. but if i just let myself feel this way, be this way, sit right here without completely SHAMING myself for it, i guarantee it’ll make this blah mood a helluva lot easier on myself.
so….. cheers to sometimes just not feeling like doing a whole lot of things. and letting that be okay. because it’s not permanent. nothing really is. and i’ll still be “killin’ it” even if i don’t accomplish 5,000 things today. i have a LOT of energy. but i do NOT have it in me to do 5,000 things every. single. day. not if i want to do them well, anyway! and trust me when i say – nothing’s worth doing if you’re not 100% in it and doing it well.
really hoping maybe a sentence or two of this hits home for someone – if not, then it’s a really good reminder for myself that a slow day now and then is just fine. embrace the space you’re in, be okay with the pace you’re moving, because a small step is still a step. if you’re moving the needle, then small moves still count.♥ SF